


I'll Always Wait For You

by HoldYourBreathAndCountToTen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Agoraphobia, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Army, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drinking, Falling In Love, First Date, First Kiss, First Time, Growing Up, Homophobia, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Military, Nightmares, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sharing a Bed, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-07 18:07:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoldYourBreathAndCountToTen/pseuds/HoldYourBreathAndCountToTen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak was determined to make it through his senior year of high school, which was bound to be horrible, and then head off to college. That is until something happens to him and the only person who can save him and piece him back together is Dean Winchester, a boy he hardly knows. Soon, they both realize how much they would be willing to do for one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wait For Me

The piercing sound of his alarm woke Castiel from a deep sleep. He sighed and wiped at his face with his hands as an attempt to wake himself up, let his arms drop at his sides before rolling over and turning his alarm off. Cas blinked his blue eyes sleepily a few times and looked up at his bedroom ceiling. He doubted there was a sound more annoying than the sound of his alarm at the crack of dawn, surely there couldn't be.

He dragged his slender body out of bed and slowly headed to the bathroom, barefooted, to shower before school. 

He was a senior this year, and although he was excited to almost be done with high school and begin looking for colleges, he also felt dread pool in his gut at the mere thought of arriving at school today. The last couple of months have not been the greatest. Now that he thinks about it, the last few years have not been very pleasant to say the least. You could say Cas has not had a very enjoyable high school experience. 

It wasn't the fact that Cas disliked school, because he actually quite enjoyed it; the learning aspect that is. What bothered him and made him anxious to return to school day after day, was the people he had to see at school. Cas has always been known to be a little odd, so he did not have many friends, but he didn't mind as much as he probably should. 

Being openly gay in a small town in Kansas also did not make him the most popular boy at school, for many people were close minded where he lives, and he unfortunately did not foresee that changing anytime soon. Cas was very opinionated though, and was not easily swayed on such opinions, and in his opinion, he should not have to hide who he is just to please the homophobic morons at his school. He was a bit of an activist at heart when it came to equal rights. He believed that everyone should be offered the same opportunities and be treated with the same amount of respect. Things in life would be so much easier if this were the case.

Although he was lonely at times, he was content to sit at home and read, or sometimes he would bring his book, or homework up to the park by his house, that way he would not be interrupted by the bickering of his siblings, which could really test his patience at times. 

Cas often felt like he was older than his peers, not physically, but mentally. Before his mother died, she used to call him an old soul, and would smile a small smile at him as she said it, in a way that made it clear that it was not a bad thing. Cas doesn’t hear that anymore. 

He does not enjoy many of the activities that teenagers his age do, which is one of the reasons why he spends the majority of his time alone. He’s not much of a partier, although he has been to a few, but those were during times in which he was forced to go by either Gabriel, or Anna. Anna was his older sister by only a year, and they have always gotten along quite well, even though many would think they had nothing in common. They bonded more when their mother passed, a little over three years ago, from an importable brain tumor.

Cas waited as the water slowly warmed, until it would just have to do, if he planned on getting ready anytime soon. He stepped under the spray of lukewarm water, and washed his thick, black hair with his favorite shampoo, which was strawberry scented. Gabriel, his older brother, constantly picked on him for that; said that it was "kind of gay" to use such a thing that was designed for women. But Cas could care less, because he knew his brother loved him dearly and was only teasing him, because that's what older siblings are supposed to do. Whenever Gabriel picked on him, it was never serious, or went too far. 

The same thing could not be said about the students at his high school, for they were far more cruel. By now, he was used to whispered insults directed at him when he walked down the halls, but it never ceased to make him want to cry. He was stubborn though, and would never give his tormentors the satisfaction of seeing how much their words hurt. 

When he was clean and dried off, he got dressed in a pair of khaki colored pants, and a navy blue cardigan that went over his white button-up undershirt. He Placed his thick rimmed glasses on his face. His hair decided to not behave and stay down when he attempted to comb it into something more presentable, so he left it looking out of control and grabbed his satchel on his way downstairs. 

He often walked to school, because he found the bus to only be a confined area in which his bullies could torment him; a place where he could not easily escape. Also, he enjoyed walking; it took his mind off of things. Anna would sometimes walk with him, but she graduated last year, so he now walked alone, and his father was usually too drunk to drive these days to drive him to school. 

Cas put his headphones in and enjoyed the calming sounds of The Beatles flowing through his ears and it helped settle some of his nerves. "Breathe, Castiel. Just breathe. Everything will be fine." he thought to himself as he made his way to school. If only he could actually convince himself that it was true. 

The breeze, although cold, was refreshing against his skin. He inhaled the smell of the trees and dirt around him and smiled a little to himself. He could hear the wildlife around him, going about their day and envied them, for they had very few worries. Cas enjoyed the outdoors, he found it calming at times when his anxiety levels were at an all time high. 

When a song ended and there was a break before another began, he heard the loud noise of an engine to a car that he was all too familiar with, drive by at a speed that could not be legal. That car belonged to Dean Winchester. Not that Cas knew him personally, but he knew of him. Mostly from the gossip that spread throughout the high school. Cas only knew that he was very protective of his younger brother, Sam, that he slept around a lot, and that he was exceptionally beautiful. The only thing was that he knew he was beautiful, which in turn made him arrogant and cocky. This didn't stop Cas from being intrigued by him whenever he drove by him in the early mornings, or walked by him in the halls. So he watched as the car drove down the road and out of sight, and felt a little sad that he will most likely never get to know the other boy. The rumbling of his impala became quieter and quieter until he could no longer hear it all. 

They had very different lives; lives that have no reason for crossing paths. He hardly even knew him, so the thought of not being able to be near him, should not upset him so, but it did. Perhaps it was the fact that he just seemed different from the other jocks on the football team. Dean was one of the most well liked boys at school, was captain of the football team, and happened to hang out with a lot of the people who made it their life goal to make Cas' high school experience a living hell. But in all the times he was beaten up, or threatened, Dean was never the one to do it. He never participated in inflicting harm on Cas, and Cas never understood why. He highly doubted it had anything to do with him specifically, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

The chilly november air made him cross his arms over his chest to try to warm his hands, which have gone a little numb from the cold. The day was gloomy; the sun was covered by thick, gray clouds and rain seemed like a very likely possibility. 

He was currently walking down a backroad that was surrounded by thick forests on both sides when he thought he could hear something that was not his music. Pressing pause on his iPod, he listened to the sounds around him. For a while, he heard nothing, then the sound of footsteps and laughter met his ears. Worry overtook him and he slowed his pace to turn his head to catch a glimpse of who was behind him. When he turned his head, he felt his stomach drop at the sight of five boys that he knew went to his school, and at least three of them he knew, because they have given him a hard time ever since his sexuality was found out. The sound of their laughter grew in volume when he made eye contact with them and they began shouting at him as well; horrible things. Cas turned his head back around and quickened his pace, hoping to get to school or at least out of these back roads before they caught up with him. He was not nearly as strong as the majority of the boys his age, but he was faster. So he decided that if worst came to worst, he could maybe outrun them. 

"Hey Cassie! Wait up! I only wish to chat with you!" one of the boys, Crowley, shouted at him, but did not dare slow down, or wait to "chat". He knew Crowley, and knew that he loathed Cas.

Cas could hear their whispers of "queer", and "fag" get closer and closer and his heart quickened along with his pace. He knew he didn't stand a chance in a fight, especially against five boys who were twice his size. 

Suddenly, the end of his right shoe got caught on a crack in the road, causing him to fall to the pavement, but catching himself with his hands before his face became familiar with the concrete. Standing up and brushing the dirt from the hands and pants, the sound of footsteps were right behind him. Before Cas could even begin to walk again, someone grabbed the back of his shirt collar and tugged hard, forcing Cas to fall to the ground once more, but on his back this time. He blinked and peered up at the faces of Crowley, Alastair, and three other boys he did not know by name. Alastair reached down and grabbed Cas by his shirt, hauling him up, and holding him there. Cas could smell the alcohol in his breath and felt his stomach turn at the stench. Fear also made his eyes wide with terror, for he knew too well how drinking can impair someone's judgment. 

"Let me go!" Cas practically cried. He was absolutely terrified and could not think of something better to say to convince them to leave him alone. "I haven't done anything. Please. Let's just go our separate ways."

"Aww. What's the matter Castiel? Don't enjoy being manhandled?" Alastair replied mockingly, and his rancid breath blew across Cas' face with every word, due to the few inches that separated their faces, and Cas immediately felt intimidated. 

"No, i'm fairly sure he enjoys being manhandled. Someone just has to show him." Crowley said, and the group laughed and followed Alastair, full of excitement and anticipation, as he dragged Cas into the woods on the right side of the road. A place where there would be no witnesses, or no one to help him. 

Cas knew he was in trouble, because why else would they drag him to an isolated area in the woods? Whatever they had planned, was sure to be far worse than their usually hazing. Things never went much further than the name calling, or the occasional shove into a locker, but Cas had a feeling that was about to change. 

Cas began to struggle harder in Alastair's firm grasp, but it was no use. He did not let up on his hold of him one bit. "I told you to let me go. You know, it's rather rude to ignore such a simple request. That is, if you could even comprehend what it is i was asking." Cas spat at Allistair. 

Bad move, because it only seemed to anger Alastair more, but he couldn't help it. He was furious, although scared at the same time, and talking was what he tended to do when he felt overwhelmed. Whether what came out of his mouth made the situation worse, was something he should have considered beforehand. Too late now though. 

They reached a small clearing and Cas was thrown on the cold, hard ground, face first into the dirt, and his glasses flew off with the impact. He could feel the wind being knocked out of him and gasped over and over, to get some air in his lungs. 

As he got on all fours, and tried to pick himself up, he felt a sharp pain at his left side as someone forcefully kicked it, forcing him to back down, and he cried out at the blow. After several more kicks to his sides, he was breathless and then they proceeded to force him on his stomach. 

One of the boys, whom Cas did not know, grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his face from the forest floor, and he cried out once more in pain. Everything hurt and he felt like he couldn't breathe. The pain was too much, and could see that they did not intend on stopping anytime soon. 

Crowley kneeled down by his face and spat at him, with a look on his face that told Cas just how disgusted he was with him. He could feel the hatred rolling off of the bodies around him. The boy released his grip on his hair and stood up along with Crowley, stepping out of Cas' view. 

Cas tried to lift himself on shaking arms, then commanded his legs to help, and once he was on his feet, swaying dangerously, Crowley's fist hit him in the face, sending him on his back once more. 

Crowley made his way over to Cas and leaned over him, straddling him, and continued to send punch after bruising punch to his already beaten face for a few minutes without break. 

After he seemed satisfied with Cas' blood streaked face, he placed his bloody hands on both sides of Cas' head, and Cas whined, his face felt oversensitive from the brutal beating. Then Crowley shoved his head into the hard ground beneath them. 

The moment his head hit the ground, he felt it connect with an uprooted root from a nearby tree, his head instantly felt heavy and his vision blurred, more than it already was without his glasses. He felt the warmth of thick blood trickle down the back of his skull. His stomach turned at the smell. 

Cas struggled as hard as he could, because he was not going to just lay there and take it. After a while though, he saw that his efforts were useless. What was he going to do? Out here in the woods, the probability of anyone finding him was not very likely. His chances did not look good at all. His fear only grew in intensity at that thought. Cas could do nothing but lay there, and take whatever these sadistic boys wanting to give him. 

Everything hurt at this point, his ribs, his right ankle, his head, his entire body, but no matter what Cas did, or how hard he pushed at his attacker, he could not shove Crowley off of him. So he lay there, bloody and hopeless, with Crowley hanging over him with pure open hatred in his dark eyes. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and waited for another punch, or kick, or something that would send another flash of pain through his body, but it never came. Then all of a sudden, the weight of Crwoley was no longer upon him. 

He laid there, listening to what sounded like curses and punches, but his head hurt, and things were difficult to hear, for everything sounded almost too loud. He tried to block it out, because it only made the throbbing in his head hurt worse. 

He opened his eyes slowly and tilted his head to see what was going on. 

There was a fight alright, but not between who he was expecting it to be. Dean was there.

Alastair, and another boy lay face down on the ground unconscious, and the other three boys must have fled. His eyes scanned the clearing and caught sight of crowley being held up to a tree by a very angry Dean Winchester. Confusion clouded Cas' mind. "What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be at school by now?" Cas thought at he saw Dean land a punch to Crowley's once smug face. Now his face was bloody and his eyes screamed of the terror he surely felt. Cas figured anyone would be terrified if they were on the receiving end of the glare that Dean was currently directing at Crowley. He had never seen anyone look so angry. 

"Get your ass out of here before i break your fucking neck!" Dean shouted at Crowley. 

Crowley obviously knew that he did not stand a chance in a fight with Dean, because he took off running faster than Cas had ever seen him run before, tripping a few times in his haste to get as far away as humanly possible. 

Cas closed his eyes and he still felt defeated; like all the willpower that was once inside him, being drained away. Willpower did nothing to stop him from being beaten within an inch of his life, so why dwell on it?

He could hear heavy footsteps get closer to where he was laying, and he knew they belonged to Dean. 

"Fuck. Hey, Castiel? Are you okay?" Dean said close to Cas' face, and he opened his eyes and was presented with the sight of Dean Winchester kneeling by him, with concern in his bright green eyes. "Come on buddy, speak to me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what they did. What hurts?" He said when Cas didn't reply. 

"I-I-I’m f-fine." Cas stammered out, but Dean did not seem convinced. So Cas opened his mouth again to repeat his earlier statement, but instead of words, a sob escaped his throat. More sobs soon followed and the he was soon crying, slowly breaking to pieces. 

"Hey hey, it's okay, man. They're gone. I promise." Dean tried to sooth him with words, but when they seemed to have little to no effect, he very carefully lifted Cas and placed him in his lap, cradling him in his arms, whispering soothing words. "Shhh. It's going to be okay. I'm going to take you to the hospital, okay? Just calm down. Just...just breathe, okay? Shit, what did they do to you?"

He continued and Cas buried his face in his shoulder, letting Dean comfort him. Cas was a little confused why he was, because he did not know this boy, and this boy should not even care as much as he seems to, but he was too tired, and in far too much pain to care at the moment. 

Dean was strong and warm and had just saved his life. 

Dean carefully stood on his feet with Cas still cradled in his arms and Cas could feel him begin to walk out of the clearing. When they reached the impala, Dean placed Cas in the backseat and practically ran around the car, jumping in the driver's seat and starting the engine. It roared to life and the sound soothed Cas and made him strangely exhausted. 

 

*****

 

Cas figured he must have lost consciousness after a few minutes, because the next time he opens his eyes, Dean is carrying him bridal style into the hospital entrance. Every step he Dean took sent a wave of pain through Cas' body and he whimpered into Dean's leather jacket. 

"We're almost there Cas, just hold on a little bit more, man." Dean whispered in his ear as he kicked open the front door to the building. 

They entered and he could hear the startled gasp of the lady at the front desk. 

"Oh my, what happened?" The lady asked as they approached her, walking around the desk to meet them. 

"Some fucking jackasses attacked him. Banged him up pretty bad." Dean replied through gritted teeth. 

Nurses rushed over with a gurney and let Dean lay Cas on it gently. 

Cas looked up at Dean, seeing the concern on his face, but still not understanding why it was there at all. At the moment though, he was in far too much pain to really analyze why, so he let it go for the time being. There would be time for questions later, when he could actually stay conscious long enough to have a decent conversation with his savior. If Dean would even be there later, or be willing to answer his questions that is. He sure hoped he would, but maybe all of his concern for Cas was just because he was the one who found him, and felt responsible in some way. Either way, he was grateful. 

Cas felt the gurney being pushed down the hall by a couple of nurses and the last sight his eyes saw before he was led into the emergency wing, was Dean standing at the front desk, out of breath, seeming lost as to what to do next, and then taking a seat in the waiting room. 

Dean was going to wait for him it seemed. So there would be time to talk and ask questions later, because Dean was going to wait. He was going to stay. That thought made a small smile touch his lips before the intensity of the pain was once again too much, and a deep sleep overtook him, easing it for the time being.


	2. I Believe You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read! I hope you like this chapter; i tried to make it longer, and even though it seems that i am rushing into this, i have so much more planned for this story, so hang in there.  
> Also, big thanks to Catherine, who proofread this chapter for me. I appreciated the help. :)

Cas woke to a sound that wasn't his alarm, but could be classified as being just as irritating; the continuous beeping of the monitor that was monitoring his heart rate.

 

Cas opened his eyes, blinking to try to clear his vision of the blurriness that clouded his sight, and looked around him in the dim lighting. When it finally cleared, he took in the room around him.

 

He was laying on a hospital bed with white cotton sheets, feeling like he was hit by a train repeatedly, wearing a hideous, yellow colored hospital gown with, what looked like, a floral pattern of some sort. There was an IV needle inserted in his left arm, the bag hanging hear by on a rack, and a bulky splint on his ankle. The front wall, in front of his bed, was covered in glass windows on both sides of the wooden entrance door, but the blinds were drawn, so no one could see through. Which was a relief, because he did not really feel like having company at the moment. The surrounding walls were a light baby blue, the usual color of hospital rooms. There was a television in the top left corner on his room that looked so old that he questioned the fact that it would even turn on if he tried. The rest of the room seemed to have a modern feel to it, though. The monitors, and other equipment around him looked brand new. Good to know that he wasn't staying in some kind of medical shack down by the river. 

 

Cas tried to sit up, and regretted the action almost immediately, because it sent a wave of sharp pains through his entire body, making him catch his breath, so he gave up on it and slumped back into his half lying/half sitting position with a heavy sigh of defeat. Great. He was practically a vegetable. Cas scowled up at the slight flickering of the lights above him, but discovered that he was still very sensitive to the brightness, and closed them. 

 

"I wouldn't move too much if I were you, man. Just take it easy for a sec." Dean's deep voice startled Cas a little and he jumped, gasping, and turned his head sharply to see, none other than Dean Winchester, sitting in a chair, at the right side of his hospital bed. "Hey! Shit, sorry. I..uh..didn't mean to scare you. Jesus. I probably could have done that better, huh?" He quickly apologized when he saw Cas' reaction. He seemed tired, Cas noted. What was Dean doing there, wearing that smug smirk of his? 

 

Cas opened his mouth to reply, or ask why he was there, but only a dry rasp left his throat; he was extremely thirsty, so he closed it, tried to swallow and clear his throat. His throat felt drier than it had ever felt. How can someone be so sore everywhere? Then the memories of yesterday slowly came back to him. Oh, right. That. Cas was a little annoyed at the whole situation. Could he not take a walk, and not get beaten up? Was he truly that pathetic? He might have been able to get away if he hadn't tripped. Cas couldn't remember what he had even tripped on, but assumed that it was his own feet. 

 

"Here. Drink this." Dean handed him a white paper cup filled about halfway with cold water, and Cas took it, and drank all of the cup's contents in large gulps; enjoying how it washed down his throat, and soothed the itching dryness. "Whoa there, slow down, speed demon." He was still very thirsty, but was a little embarrassed by his show of drinking the water in that manner in front of Dean, that didn't dare ask for more. His goal was to drink enough to be able to say what he needed to say. 

 

"T-thank you...I.." Cas nearly whispered it, but Dean was close enough that he could hear it, and that's all that mattered. Cas had no strength to say it any louder than he had. Dean looked at him with those green eyes of his. 

 

All of a sudden, Cas was not so opposed to the thought of company; as long as that company involved Dean. Why he thought this, was a mystery to Cas, but he knew he did want to have a chance to talk to the boy who had saved him.

 

"No problem." Dean wiped a hand over his face and through his short dark, sandy colored hair. Cas could see bags under his eyes and wondered why. Had he not gotten enough sleep? What was it that had kept him awake at night? "I called Anna, and Gabriel for you. They got here yesterday, but the doctors were not letting anyone see you for a few hours. They're waiting in the waiting room right now, though. I..tried calling your Dad, but...he didn't answer." Dean sounded apologetic for some reason that was lost to Cas. Why should he care if his drunk of a father didn't show up when his son was in the hospital? It wasn't his problem; it was Cas' and he has learned to accept that the death of his mother changed his father in ways that are irreversible. He has to accept it, because he doesn't see it changing anytime soon. His father lost interest in his children, and his faith. Cas remembered a time when his father was quite religious, which is why Cas, and his siblings were named after angels. As his mother slowly died, so had his father's faith. 

 

That still didn't settle Cas' fear of his father finding out about his sexuality, because he knew for a fact that it would greatly upset him. He might even go to such lengths as to throw Cas out, and then he would have no place to go. 

 

Cas could wait to tell his father until he graduated, and was safely out of the house; away from his father's rage. He could wait. 

 

Cas locked eyes with Dean and felt trapped. Something very close to butterflies came alive within his stomach and he hated them. They had no business being there, because he does not like Dean Winchester. He had no idea what Dean was truly like, or if he could trust him. Of course he couldn't, for he has barely said more than a few words to the boy. 

 

He continued to stare at his protector, and was felt bewildered that he was there to protect him at all. Dean had been there to save him, when he should have been at school. Regardless of his slight distrust of Dean, Cas had never been so grateful. There was no way he could have stopped his attackers all by himself, he knew that, and so did they. If not for Dean, who knows what they would have done to him next. The thought made a shiver run up his spine, shivering, and the monitor's beeping quickened.

 

Those green eyes were full of so much emotion; emotions that he could not decipher at the moment, so he continued to stare. Dean cleared his throat and looked to the side of the room, after a few moments of staring, and shifted in his seat, seeming lost in thought. 

 

A minute passed. "Why are you here?" Cas blurted out before he could even think twice, and he winced at his own words. He has been thinking them since he woke up, but the words sounded rude to even his own ears when spoken out loud, and he regretted them the second they left his mouth. Cas made a mental note to review everything in his head before blurting them out next time. 

 

Dean looked at him again, looking a little out of his comfort zone, and ran his hand through his hair again. "I don't know. I mean..I was...I wanted to see how you were doing. They banged you up pretty bad, and I wanted to see if you were okay, that's all." Dean looked away again before saying "Why? Do you want me to leave? I can, if you would rather get some sleep, or something." Dean looked as if he was hurt, but was trying very hard not to show it, putting on his mask of indifference.

 

"No no, you misunderstand me. I was simply asking, because..." Cas didn't think it would be polite to say that the reasoning behind his question was that he wondered why Dean would even care at all about Cas. At least not at the moment. So he quickly came up with another reason. "...things are still a little fuzzy since I hit my head. Could..you perhaps fill me in on..on..what happened after I lost consciousness?" He felt unsure, but asked anyways, he was curious after all, so he waited patiently for an answer. He didn't even remember how he got to the hospital, or when. So he sat up a tiny bit, and looked at Dean expectantly. 

 

"After the nurses took you away, I called Gabriel and Anna on your phone, which I only took to do that, I swear. I'll give it back." Dean sounded urgent to state that he did not plan on stealing it, and Cas snorted out a small laugh. Cas did not expect Dean to steal it. This caused Dean to look at him again and Cas could see one side of his mouth upturn in a crooked smile, amusement dancing in his eyes, and he visibly relaxed. "So anyways...they got here yesterday to ask the doctors how bad your injuries are. Which, by the way, you have three cracked ribs, a sprained ankle, and a concussion." It was said angrily and Dean's fists clenched at his sides, turning his knuckles white from the force. His posture was rigid as he explained. "Also, you had to have six stitches in the back of your head." He snapped his mouth shut and glared at the tiled ceiling.

 

"Oh." Cas could certainly feel his injuries. It hurt even to breathe, so he took small, slow breaths, as to not stress his ribs so much. He was probably in store for a long, boring recovery time. Splendid. Then he thought of the first part of what Dean said.

 

So he had stayed long enough to call his siblings for him? Dean had actually cared enough to do that for him? His father didn't show up, but that was no big surprise there. Nor did Cas care all that much, he was used to it by now. At least his siblings cared enough to be there for him. They always were.

 

Cas looked over at Dean for a long time, not sure what to say to his savior. Dean felt his stare and looked up to lock eyes with Cas, holding the stare longer than before, which only caused the butterflies in Cas' stomach to have a celebration, and they became twice as frantic. He loathed those butterflies. Cas blushed at the thought that Dean gave him butterflies. It was ridiculous really, but he couldn't help it, nor could he stop them from fluttering in the pit of his stomach. His attraction to Dean was stupid. He knew that, and tried to will the feelings away, but not doing a very good job. 

 

Dean smirked at Cas' blush and huffed, slouching back in his chair, letting some of the tension leave his body. Dean almost looked smug now, but Cas could not think of a reason why he would. Maybe he enjoyed embarrassing Cas. Although, that seemed unlikely. 

 

Cas cleared his throat as his blush died down. "Thank you, Dean...for saving me." Cas said quietly, and Dean looked at him, shocked by the sincerity in Cas' words. Cas made sure his face showed just how grateful he was, and let Dean look at him and see it. Dean seemed a little embarrassed at the thanks.

 

"That's not what you said to me on our way here, you know." Dean smiled and snorted. 

 

At Cas' confused frown, he continued with, "When I drove in the hospital parking lot, and I went to get you out of the back seat, you just looked at me, and said "I could have taken 'em." Who knew you were such a tough guy, huh?" That smirk was once again on Dean's face as he said that and Cas could see that he was highly amused. "Make way for Mr. Fighting Champ." He continued to chuckle, and Cas' face flushed. 

 

"Yes, well I do not recommend you take the words of someone who was only half conscious at the time, and who was suffering from a concussion, all that seriously." Cas kept on blushing, and looked away, slightly embarrassed by his concussion state rambling. At least he didn't say something worse. 

 

"You think that's bad? You also called me beautiful." Dean laughed at that, smiling a cocky smile. 

 

Great. So he had said something worse. Super. Cas wished he had just remained unconscious. That way he would not have acted like such a loopy idiot. What a great first impression. 

 

Cas' face went beet red at that, he covered his face with his hands in mortification, and groaned, feeling far more embarrassed and not knowing what else to say. He could not believe he actually said that to Dean. Dean was more intimidating when he was smiling that smile of his. It was distracting to say the least, and made him only want to stare, so he had to keep his eyes away from him to collect his thoughts. Dropping his hands from his face, he toyed with the fabric on his hospital gown nervously. 

 

"Hey man, it's okay. I was only teasing. You were all loopy anyways, but I take my compliments where I can get 'em." Dean said kindly, but Cas could also tell that he was still quite amused. Dean had so much confidence, while Cas could barely look at him, or be looked at by him, without flushing. 

 

"If you're done making fun of me, I would really like to ask you some questions." Cas accompanied that statement with a glare directed at Dean, which only made that smirk return to Dean's face.

 

"Shoot."

 

"What were you doing by those woods anyways? Shouldn't you have been at school? I saw you drive by.." He stopped himself, closing his mouth; feeling annoyed with himself for admitting to have taken notice of Dean that morning, like he did every morning.

 

Dean stopped smiling, schooled his expression into something blank, and sighed. "I left my football gear at home, so after I dropped off Sammy, I was on my way back home to grab my bag, because I had practice after school, and my coach would kick my ass if I showed up with no gear." Cas opened his mouth to apologize for making him miss his practice anyways, but he held up a hand to stop him. "Not like he won't forgive me. He's an old family friend, and once I called him and explained what happened, he understood." That made some of the guilt in Cas subside, but not entirely. "On my way back home, I saw your bag laying in the road." Dean's entire expression twisted into something that made it clear just how furious he was. "I slowed down...and that's when I heard the yelling, and you crying for help." Cas frowned. He didn't remember calling for help, but he had just suffered a head injury after all. "I..got out of Baby, and ran in the direction of the woods towards the sound. When I got there, I..shit. I could not fucking believe what I was seeing. They were just fucking standing there, watching that dick beat the living shit out of you! Who just does that?! Sick, twisted fucks, that's who." Dean spat the words and ground his teeth as an attempt to control some of his anger. Cas could tell that Dean had a bit of a temper. "And after I took care of them, I brought you here, and stayed the night. That's all, I guess. You know the rest" 

 

Dean had spent the night with him? He had waited for Cas to wake up? That would explain the bags under his eyes. "Thank you, Dean. I truly mean that. I...don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up. So, thank you." Cas felt like he had to let Dean know just how grateful he was. "Most people probably would not have stopped, or would have joined in. I am not very well liked at school, if you haven't already noticed." Cas huffed a humorless laugh, looking down at his hands, which were shaking, folded together, and tears gathered in his eyes, threatening to spill over.

 

Dean reached a hand over and placed it under his chin, gently lifting Cas' head to force Cas to look at him. "You don't have to thank me, Cas. I don't care if other people wouldn't have stopped, because they're assholes, okay? How are you any different from them?" Dean seemed almost angry again with trying to convince Cas of his words.

 

"Well for one, I'm gay." As soon as the words lefts his mouth, he could not believe that he actually said it; to Dean Winchester of all people. Even though people at school knew, it was more fueled by rumors than actual fact. He did not deny it if students asked, but he also did not wear a rainbow flag around school, and throw a coming out party. He began to tremble with fear of Dean's coming rejection and disgust. Dean would be just as cruel as the rest of the people at school. Cas had been through enough to know that people didn't like things that were different, and treated it as a threat. 

 

"And?" Dean replied simply.

 

"Wha-you mean...you aren't disgusted with me?" Cas was shocked that Dean seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing. Usually, men in particular, felt uncomfortable to be around him when they found out about his sexuality, as if somehow they could catch his gay like a plague, but Dean seemed as calm as ever. Why? Surely what he had just said will sink in eventually, and he will run away from Cas as fast as he can.

 

Dean frowned at him. "Fuck no, Cas. Why would I be? Do you really not know then?" Dean seemed shocked about something, and confused by Cas' question. Cas did not enjoy feeling confused, and wished he had an idea of what the hell Dean was talking about. 

 

Cas frowned, furrowing his brows, and shook his head. "Know what?" What was Dean talking about?

 

Dean dropped his hand from Cas' chin, letting it rest on the edge of his bed, and stated simply. "I'm gay, Cas." Which caused Cas' mouth to drop in surprise until he had enough sense to close it. He must have heard that wrong, but he didn't, because Dean continued with, "Well, I guess bi would be more accurate, but I thought you already knew. I mean the rumors must have reached you at some point, you know?"

 

Cas was beyond words. If Dean was bi, then how come he was not treated like Cas was? Like a pest that did not belong at a public school, but in a cage. Was it due to his social status, or the people he knew? Cas had heard the rumors during Sophomore year, but they seemed highly unlikely at the time, as they did to the rest of the people at school, and the subject was dropped quickly; students finding more interesting things to gossip about. He had not thought too much on it, and maybe that was the reason why Dean was not hazed; people just assumed that they were simply rumors, because Dean couldn't be bi. There was no way. He slept around with women all the time, and Cas had never seen Dean with another guy before, in a way that was not platonic. This whole thing was confusing, and it hurt his head a little, not helping his concussion at all. Everything he thought he knew about Dean Winchester had just changed. 

 

His confusion, and surprise must have shown on his face, because Dean chuckled and continued with, "I guess I can see why you're surprised. The rumors were kind of brushed off. A lot of people didn't believe them, and I didn't care enough to correct them. So I didn't." Dean furrowed his brow and stated sternly, "Because, to be honest, I don't give a rat's ass what people think of me. Fuck them." Dean sighed and looked at Cas, and with firm conviction said, "and neither should you."

 

Cas felt dizzy almost. He had a feeling that Dean was different from the other jocks at his school, but he could not even begin comprehend just how different he actually was. Dean was something else entirely. Cas was more intrigued by him then he ever was before. He wanted to know this boy, to get to know him. Maybe to better understand him, because he didn't right then. What was even more difficult for Cas to understand, was why Dean seemed to want to be near him, too. Cas had always felt ordinary, boring even. He had nothing to offer Dean, he knew it, and soon, so would Dean. The people in Cas' life all figured it out, and had run for the hills. Cas' coming out in Freshman year, caused him to lose his best friend, who said he couldn't stand to be near him any longer. 

Cas felt like he might as well warn Dean of this. That he was wasting his time. 

 

Cas opened his mouth to say so, but then the door was opened and Anna poked her head in the doorway. "Hey there, Cassy. How're you feeling?" She asked calmly, but Cas could detect the urgency in her voice and read the concern on her face. Anna had always been a little over protective of Cas, even thought they were only a year apart in age. Sometimes it annoyed Cas, but he knew that she was only acting that way, because she loved him. 

 

Cas smiled a small smile at her and offered his hand, which she took in both of hers when she crossed the room to stand by his bedside. Gabriel followed after Anna into the room. He looked at Dean with narrowed eyes, clearly feeling unsure of how he felt about the other boy being so close to his baby brother. "So you're Dean, huh." It was spoken as more of a statement than a question, but Dean answered regardless.

 

"Last time I checked. " Dean gave Gabriel a just as intimidating look, which made Cas sigh and roll his eyes at their childishness.

 

"Dean, I am so thankful for you saving my brother. I cannot even begin to thank you enough." Anna said quickly as she went over to Dean and placed her hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, before letting her arm drop. Her gratitude was written in her delicate features. Cas could see her eyes became teary, before she blinked; clearing them. 

 

"It..uhh...was no problem." Dean looked uncomfortable at her thanks, and shifted in his chair, breaking eye contact with Anna. Good. That was payback for him teasing Cas earlier. "Karma is truly a bitch." Cas thought with a smirk. It was nice to see some of his confidence waver. 

 

Gabriel muttered something under his breath that sounded like "pretty convenient that you were there in the first place if you ask me." before he went over to Cas and smiled at him. "Hey, Cas, what's black and blue, and red all over?"

 

Anna hit Gabriel in the back of the head with a sharp "Gabriel!", scolding him for his insensitive words. Dean's jaw went taut and he practically growled. Cas did not mind though. This was how Gabriel was, and Cas would not have him any other way. He laughed and rolled his eyes at his older brother. Gabriel always had no mind filter. It was almost refreshing that this time was no different. 

 

"Let me guess. Me?." Cas was used to Gabriel's humor, so he was not offended in the least, and joked with him back. 

 

"Right you are little bro!" He exclaimed. "I always knew you were a smart one!" Gabriel clapped him on the shoulder, but quickly apologized when he saw that it made Cas wince in pain. "Sorry, Cassy." Much of the humor left his face when he saw Cas in pain; it was not something he enjoyed seeing. 

 

Cas noticed this and sighed. Cas didn't want his family to treat him any differently, because of what happened. He did not want to be treated as weak, or be pitied. He was not weak, and he did not wish to be treated as such.

 

Anna rolled her eyes, annoyed by Gabriel. "Well, the doctors said that we can take you home tomorrow, if you agree to stay in bed and rest for a while. They estimated that you will be bedridden for four to eight weeks." She said apologetically, knowing how Cas would worry about becoming behind in his classes. Cas groaned and dropped his head on his pillow. "Don't worry though, I have already informed all of your teachers, and they have agreed to gather your assignments for me to pick up to give to you, so you don't fall behind." That eased some of Cas's anxiety and he thanked her, letting out a relieved sigh. 

 

Dean tried to hide it when he snickered next to him, but was not very successful, and Cas sent a glare his way. Dean raised both of his hands up in surrender, and full out laughed.

 

The rest of the day was spent convincing Anna that he was fine, that she did not have to worry so much, until her and Gabriel left to go get some food in the cafeteria. They parted with promises of trying to sneak some food in for Cas. 

 

Cas spent the hour that they were gone, talking to Dean. Nothing all too exciting, but it kept his mind off of things. He learned that Dean named his beloved 67 Chevy Impala "Baby", and that he practically rebuilt it with his father. Dean claimed to be a very gifted mechanic and said that he also had a motorcycle, and a dirt bike at home that he saved from the junkyard and fixed up. He also learned that Dean planned on enlisting in the Army as soon as he graduates, because he just couldn't see himself getting into college. Dean said that he had planned on joining since he was five, to take after his father who had also been in the military. 

Dean told him about his younger brother, Sam, and how he wanted to become a lawyer. He said it with a proud smile, talking excitedly about his siblings. Cas smiled at him, and listened quietly. He was pleasantly surprised to hear just how much Dean cared for Sam. It was sweet. 

Cas told him how enjoyed laying outside in the grass, reading, or drawing, and that he planned on becoming a high school English teacher. He had applied at a few colleges, but was still undecided on where he wanted to go. Cas did mention that he only lived with his father, Anna, and Gabriel, and when Dean asked where his mother was, Cas replied simply with, "Brain tumor." And changed the subject.

 

They talked about their likes and dislikes. Dean liked classic rock, while Cas enjoyed listening to almost anything that wasn't heavy metal. Cas disliked sports and getting dirty, while Dean loved playing football and working on engines. Dean would laugh at some of the weirder stuff Cas said to him. Cas also blushed like crazy when Dean asked him if he was seeing anybody, which caused Dean to tilt his head back and let out a loud fit of laughter at Cas' obvious discomfort. He was an asshole, but Cas found himself trying to fight back a smile.

 

Dean promised to stay with Cas at the hospital another night, completely ignoring Cas' protests. He claimed that his family was more than okay with it, seeing as it was a Saturday after all, because Cas' attack had happened on a Friday morning.

 

They were very different, but never ran out of things to talk about. When talking became tiring though, they could sit in each other's company in silence and not feel obligated to talk. It was nice in a weird way. So that night Cas said goodbye to Anna and Gabriel when they said they had to go home now, but would be back to pick him up in the morning.

 

The nurses escorted Dean into a visiting room to sleep in, but only after a half hour, Cas' door creaked open, and Dean came sneaking in, and sat right back in the chair he was sitting in before.

 

"You know, you're not nearly as sneaky as you think you are, right?" Cas smiled at him. He did not want to be alone with his nightmares, and was grateful that Dean knew this without having to be told.

 

"Nah. I'm too stealthy for some shitty hospital staff to catch me, baby." Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cas and Cas snorted, rolling his eyes.

 

"Fine, but if you get caught, I didn't have anything to do with it. Deal?" Cas could see that Dean knew he was only joking; that he was glad that the boy was there, but Cas tried covering it up by joking.

 

"Deal." Dean smiled at him, amused.

 

They talked in hushed voices for a while before Cas lost his fight with his exhaustion, and fell asleep. The last thing Cas remembers before passing out, was Dean grabbing a blanket from the foot of his bed, and draping it over Cas.

 

*****

 

Several hours later, and two attempts at eating some of the awful food that the hospital had to offer, the nurses were preparing Cas to leave, informing Anna and Gabriel of how to help care for Cas and his injuries. Anna's hands were overflowing with pamphlets on how to do just that, and she listened intently to the doctor's every word, while Gabriel kept trying to hit on the nurse that was helping Cas out of bed and into a wheelchair.

 

Since Cas' clothes were ruined, judging as they were soaked in blood, he wore an old T-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that Anna had brought him. He even needed help changing.

 

Dean had just gotten back from when he excused himself to call his parents to let them know what was happening. He walked beside Cas as he was wheeled out of his room and near the exit.

 

A sudden fear consumed Cas at the thought of going outside. He was beyond terrified of the fact that he will be in an open, wall-less clearing, where anything could happen to him. Anyone could hurt him. He wasn't safe, not outside. Cas gripped both sides of the wheelchair, making his knuckles white. His heart felt like it was in his throat with how hard it was beating, and he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. He couldn't do this. At least not when his eyes were open, so he squeezed his eyes shut as they wheeled him outside and into the parking lot. He concentrated on the tiny bumps, and imperfections in the pavement as his chair rolled over them, and tried to calm himself down. His fear was a side effect from his attack, nothing more. He knew that, but it did nothing to quench his fear.

 

Dean noticed Cas' distress and placed a large comforting hand on his shoulder, and kept it there until they reached Anna's car. Cas slowly opened his eyes, just in time to see Dean crouch and very gently lift him from the wheelchair, and he felt safe there. Dean was strong and warm, and made him feel safe.

 

"Hey, watch it. Don't drop me." Cas said quietly and Dean chuckled. Then he placed Cas in the backseat of the car, and closed the door after.

 

Once everyone was in the car and ready to go, Cas looked out his window at Dean standing there, and waved a shy wave. Dean smiled at that, and soluted Cas, making him snort at him.

 

Cas and Dean held eye contact until Anna drove out of the parking lot, and Dean faded slowly into the distance. His heart felt like it was in his throat again, and he felt less safe than he had just a moment ago, but he would be fine. He hoped he would get to see Dean again, but he doubted Dean would want to take the time to come and see him, so he let that thought go with a little sadness.

 

He'd be alright.

 

*****

 

Cas lay in bed, reading one of his favorite books, "Wuthering Heights", which was quite difficult since he lost his glasses. He was determined though, and was far too stubborn to admit defeat and put it down. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. He couldn't draw, because his vision blurred when he tried and his hands trembled too much to hold a pencil. He had been home from the hospital for two days. His father, as expected, paid him no mind, and continued to drink himself into his passed out state on the couch.

 

So much had changed in the past couple of days. For one thing, he could not seem to get Dean out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. Also, he was sore everywhere. The first time he got a chance to look at himself in the mirror had been a shock to Cas. There were so many bruises. Anna was helping him take a bath, which was extremely embarrassing, when he saw his lean, pale body in the long bathroom mirror. Bruises painted the majority of his skin in yellows, blacks, and purples. The more gross looking ones had a sort of green tint to them. His stomach turned at the sight, and he gingerly touched his face, which had the worst of the bruises, tracing the dark blotches with his fingertips. They stung, but he didn't stop tracing. He didn't even stop when tears fell down his face. Anna went to him and drew his hand away from his face and held it tight in both of hers, and that's what snapped Cas out of his sudden daydream like state. Cas had avoided his reflection since that day, because he was scared that he would lose it all over again, except no one would be there for him next time.

 

After about twenty minutes of trying to read, he threw his book down in frustration, and sat up in his bed before Anna walked into his room with a tray of his dinner, wearing a wide, friendly smile.

 

"Thought you might complain if I made you soup, so I made you a peanut butter sandwich, and some tea." Anna knew him too well. God , he loved his sister. The smell of chair tea filled his nose, and it smelt wonderful.

 

Cas chuckled. "Thank you, Anna. You did not have to go to such lengths, though. Just toss me some bread next time." He replied jokingly and Anna laughed loudly at his words. She walked over to him and placed the tray on his lap, and sat on the edge of his bed. Anna had that look on her face that told Cas that she wanted to ask him something. "What is it you want Anna? I know you have something to say to me. Spit it out." He said not harshly, but lightly.

 

At first she didn't reply then asked, "Are you okay?" When Cas groaned, she continued, "No, i mean it. Something very traumatic happened to you, Cas, and I'm worried about you. Let me help. Just talk to me." Anna looked at him with a look of desperation, and Cas knew he could not deny Anna what she wanted when she used that look on him. She knew it, too.

 

"I assure you, I am fine. A bit sore, but that was to be expected." At her glare, he sighed and admitted, "I'm scared. I..I feel like I'm never safe. At all. Anywhere. And angry that I could do nothing about it." Those words were truer than he wanted them to be. Cas never really felt nervous about the thought of the outside world, or feared the people in it, and their capability to hurt him. He would not be able to stop them, just like he was not able stop those boys. He had fought with as much as he had, but it was not enough. He wasn't enough. Angry tears welled up in his bright blue eyes, making them bluer, and Anna gathered him in a light hug, as not to hurt him.

 

"It's going to be alright, Cassy. Once we press charges, they will be in deep shit. The ones eighteen, or older will be sent to jail."

 

Cas drew away from her at her words, and he felt sick again. "No!" he practically shouted, and Anna looked taken aback by his outburst. He took a deep breath and tried again to form words that will make Anna understand. "Anna...I...no. I don't want t-to press charges. It will only make things worse for me at school. You know it will. I think getting their asses kicked by Dean was punishment enough." He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it just sounded sad, even to Cas' ears. He missed Dean, regardless of how pathetic it sounded to Cas, because he had not seen the boy for only two days. It was likely that he wouldn't see Dean anytime soon, and that only made him lose his appetite, and he placed the tray of food on his nightstand.

 

Anna looked at him for a few moments before saying, "Alright, Cas. I cannot make you do something you don't want to. I know you too well, you would fight me every step of the way." She sighed and brushed her long red hair behind her shoulder. "Well, I'm glad Dean was there for you. I wasn't aware that you two knew each other." She looked at Cas accusingly.

 

"We don't. Not really. He just happened to be driving by when he heard the commotion." Even if he wished they did know each other, it wasn't going to happen. They were too different, and Dean wasn't interested.

 

"He seemed awful protective of you to have just met you." Anna looked skeptical, and raised an eyebrow at him.

 

"Don't look at me like that, Anneal. I don't know what was going on with that. I don't even know why he would care." Cas frowned as he thought back on how much Dean had done for him when he needed him. It still made no sense. The kind and caring Dean he had spoken to in the hospital, was completely different from the popular jock, and well-known badboy everyone at school made him out to be.

 

"Whatever you say, Cassy. I'm going to let you get some rest. Holler if you need anything."

 

"Or i could simply text you. Modern technology is truly a wonder." Cas replied.

 

"Oh, shut up, you ass!" Anna laughed and walked out of his room, closing his door behind her.

 

He sighed and layed down, closed his eyes, and let sleep overtake him.

 

*****

 

Cas figured he must have been asleep for quite some time, because it was 4:23pm, according to his phone. He wondered what woke him, until he heard the distinct sound of someone knocking on the front door. Was Anna, or Gabriel expecting company? If they were, they should know that he can't exactly come running down the stairs to answer the door.

 

Then he strained his ears, and sat up as he heard the door being answered. The voices were too low for him to distinguish who was talking, but he could tell that whoever was at the door, was male, because of the deepness of his voice. Perhaps it is one of Gabriel's friends, or one of Anna's love interests, for she had many. Cas loved his sister, but she could be a bit of a slut at times. He told her so often, which would result in a smack to the back of his head.

 

The thought was dismissed when he heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, and walk down the hallway, before they stopped at his bedroom door. There was no further sound for a few moments, then there was a light knocking at his door. Cas frowned in confusion. He was not in a great mood, so whoever was knocking on his door, better have a good reason.

 

"Yes?" He asked a little annoyed, half expecting it to just be Gabriel, trying to pester him again, but when his door opened, it wasn't Gabriel. It was Dean.

 

Dean smirked at Cas through his now open door. "Hey, Cas.", leaning casually against the doorframe, hands in the pockets of his jeans

 

"Dean? What are you doing here?" Cas was confused, but also glad to see the other boy, and he tried to hide it and show little in his expression. He obviously wasn't doing a very good job, because Dean just smirked and walked over to Cas, grabbing his desk chair on the way, and pulling it up beside Cas, his combat boots making loud footsteps echo throughout Cas' room. 

 

"I thought you might want some company. I bet you're bored out of your mind. I know I would be. Shit, I'd be throwing myself our windows just for something to do." He chuckled. 

 

Cas rolled his eyes and tried not to smile, but was unsuccessful. The sun was streaming in through his half-closed blinds, casting slivers of afternoon light across Dean's face. He was wearing a dark gray T-shirt, a red plaid flannel over that, that was left unbuttoned, and his brown leather jacket. Dean was dressed just as he always was, but Cas felt his mouth go dry at the sight of him. Cas took a shaky breath, and tried to control his rapid heartbeat. 

 

"Oh, and I also brought you these." Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out Cas' glasses. Dean unfolded the thick, black frames, leaned forward, and placed them upon Cas' face. Cas used his index finger to push them up the bridge of his nose.

 

"Umm thank you, Dean. It was becoming increasingly frustrating to do much of anything when I couldn't see." Not that he was blind without them, but the blurriness was a pain, and only increased the longer he went without wearing them.

 

"Glad to be of service. Anything else you need help with?" Dean asked, but Cas could see the amusement in his eyes, and knew that Dean was teasing him. Dean knew Cas was stubborn and did not like to be taken care of, because it made him slightly uncomfortable. It was not something he was used to. He had always cared for himself. Dean learned this after staying two nights at the hospital with him, whenever a nurse, Anna, or Dean tried to assist Cas with anything. Cas had insisted each time that he was perfectly capable of doing it himself, which he was not, but he was not about to admit that to any of them. They helped him with the simplest of tasks, ignoring his protests, and the blush of embarrassment that colored his cheeks.

 

"No, thank you, Dean. The glasses were enough." He stated, letting it come out a tad harshly.

 

"What can I say? You look good with glasses." He said with a teasing note in his voice. A blush spread over Cas' cheeks, which only made Dean smirk that cocky smirk again. God, he hated that smirk, but he also liked it. It sure did make the butterflies, that seemed to have made a home in his stomach, take flight. Cas was becoming slightly annoyed, for he did not enjoy feeling embarrassed, and he hardly knew this boy!

 

"Yes, I'm sure it is such a fashion trend." He snapped, but Dean only laughed at his response.

 

"Calm down, hot stuff. I was just saying." Dean seemed completely unfazed by Cas' mood.

 

"I am calm. I simply have a headache, and you seem to be making it worse." Cas glared at Dean when he laughed again. "Why are you here? To annoy me to death?"

 

Dean stopped laughing, and even had the decency to look a little apologetic. He nervously rubbed a hand at the back of his neck, averting his eyes. "No. I actually just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all. I...was on my way home, and I figured that I haven't seen you in a few days..thought I might as well stop by and say 'hey'." Dean dropped his hand from his neck and looked directly at Cas. "I was worried about you."

 

"Why? You barely know me." Cas wanted to know the answer to this question that has been bothering him, and keeping him awake for two days. He was going to continue asking until Dean gave him a logical answer. What he got though, did not seem very logical to Cas at all.

 

"Because I like you, Cas. You seem like an alright person, and you were dealt a pretty shitty hand in life with what happened to you." His voice adopted an angry tone as he said the last part. "You're different, Cas. I see you at school from time to time, and I always wonder why you sit alone." He chuckled, mostly to himself. "I convinced myself that one day I'd go up to you and introduce myself, but I kept making excuses. You just seem different, in a good way." He finished and Cas could see the sincerity in his face.

 

"But...why? I'm not very interesting, Dean. I can assure you that. Did you ever think that the reason people tend to avoid me, was because I'm just boring? That I'm ordinary?" Cas became more frantic with each word, trying to convince Dean that he was not someone fascinating, but someone ordinary; bland. He didn't want Dean to think he was someone he wasn't. "I'm stubborn, I spend the majority of my time studying, and I can't play any kind of sport to save my life." Cas sighed. "To be honest, I struggle with most conversations, because I either can't think of something to say, or I ramble on and on, and can't seem to stop myself from saying something stupid! God. That is exactly what I'm doing now, isn't it? You see? You'll soon get bored with me, Dean. You only think you want to be my friend now. Down the road, you'll change your mind. You're wasting your time." Cas' vision blurred with the beginning of tears, and he quickly wiped at his eyes to dispose of the evidence.

 

Large, strong hands suddenly gripped the sides of his face, forcing him to look up at Dean, who was leaning over him. "Don't say that, Cas. That's complete bullshit. I know when I see something that's worth my time, and believe me when I say that you are worth my time, Cas." Cas wanted so badly to believe him, but his words just seemed so impossible. How could someone like Dean want to be friends with someone like Cas? Cas wanted to be so much more to Dean, but Cas knew that it wasn't an option, regardless of the fact that Dean was bi. Dean could have anyone he wanted, why on Earth would he want Cas?

 

Cas shook his head slightly, squeezing his eyes shut tight in misery. "No, I'm not."

 

"Jesus Christ, you are stubborn. What do I have to say to you to make you believe me?" Dean sighed. "Like I said before, I know when I see something that's worth my time...and I know when I see someone that I want. And believe me, Cas, when I say that that's you." Dean stated and then, just as Cas' teary eyes snapped open in surprise at his words, leaned forward and very gently brushed his lips against Cas'.

 

Cas gasped at the soft touch, and Dean cradled his face delicately in his large hands, stroking Cas' cheek with his thumb. Cas couldn't help but become pliant in his arms, and lean into the touch. Cas had never had someone treat him so gently. Dean handled him like fine china, careful of his bruises, but also not hesitant in his touches. Cas could sense that Dean's gentleness was not brought on by his pity for what happened to him, but from something else entirely. What that was, he still didn't know, or care at the moment. All Cas could think about was Dean's lips moving across his; more urgent than before, and Cas whimpered, which made Dean push his tongue at the seam of Cas' mouth. Cas opened up, letting Dean in, feeling the flood of heat that pooled in his gut when their tongues met, tangling. He had never felt something quite like this before. The soft skin of Dean’s lips against the chapped skin of Cas' was enough to send the butterflies into a full on riot in his stomach. He had never been kissed before, and now he was glad of the fact, so that could be Dean his first. 

Cas felt light headed, and grabbed at Dean's shirt for something to hold on to, feeling the soft fabric under his fingertips, and smelt the smell of oil, and leather; a wonderful smell that was entirely Dean. 

 

Dean pulled back to look at Cas, smiling at him. "Now do you believe me?" He asked. Cas couldn't find the words, so he nodded once, blinking slowly. "Good. And don't worry about boring me, Cas. You're interesting even when you're bedridden. I'll just have to wait for you to get better before I can take you out on a proper date." Dean smirked him. 

 

Cas opened his eyes, looking up at Dean though his dark lashes, panting. "You still haven't asked me, you know." He replied with a teasing tone to his breathy words. 

 

"Do I really have to ask?" Dean smirked; radiating confidence. Making Cas roll his eyes, and huff out a laugh. 

 

"Don't be an ass." He scolded the other boy before he surged forward, meeting halfway with Dean for another kiss.


	3. I'm Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if there are any spelling errors, because i am currently having some issues with my computer, so i had to upload this chapter from my ipad, which does not spell check things automatically. I will go back and correct things tomorrow when my computer has decided to stop being an assbutt. 
> 
> Thanks Catherine for reading it and giving my feedback.  
> Also thank you everyone who has stuck with me so far! I appreciate it. Any feedback is good feedback. Let me know if you like it so far.

It has been five weeks since Cas' attack, and he was beginning to feel more like himself again. A lot of that had to do with Dean. He had been visiting Cas almost everyday, unless he had football practice; keeping Cas company during his recovery time. Sometimes they would simply talk, or watch a movie. Due to Cas' still healing broken ribs and mostly healed sprained ankle, they couldn't do much else. Of course even getting downstairs to watch television was a challenge in itself; Dean had to carry him to the living room at first, but now he simply put his arm around Cas; holding some of his weight as they descended the stairs. Cas had been keeping up with his school work thankfully; doing his assignments whenever he had spare time, which was quite often lately. His ankle was pretty much all healed, but it still got sore if he was on his feet for too long. The majority of his bruises were all gone, and the ones that remained were a pale yellow color, and would disappear in a few more days; a week at most. But Cas still couldn't find it in himself to look at his reflection for too long; that part of him hasn't healed yet. If he looked at himself, all he saw was himself looking back at him, covered in blood and bruises. It made him feel sick to his stomach, so he avoided situations where he could see his reflection. The nightmares started the second night after his attack, and have continued every night since; returning every time he closed his eyes. Scenes of angry men shouting and hurting him flashed through his head. The pain in his nightmares feels almost like the real thing, making them that much more awful, and they continued to haunt him throughout the day even after waking up. He only seemed to feel this way when he was alone with his thoughts; he wouldn't be able to stop his mind from replaying it over and over. When he was in the company of one of his loved ones, or Dean, the thoughts and fears melted away; giving him a temporary sense of security. There couldn't always be someone to be there though; he had to be alone eventually. Cas knew this, and pretended that he didn't dread the part of the day when everyone said their goodnights and he headed upstairs to bed. He plastered a fake smile on his face, so they wouldn't see just how scared he truly was. 

 

It was a Friday night and Cas was currently in the living room; curled up on the couch wearing dark grey drawstring sweatpants, and a baggy bright orange sweater. It was the beginning of December now, and his Father had forgotten to pay the gas bill again, so the house was extremely cold, but this had happened before, so they were prepared. Anna had bought a few small space heaters last time this happened, and they were set up throughout the main parts of the house. Gabriel was the oldest; he was twenty two, but instead of moving out, he stayed home and helped Anna take care of the house and Cas. It wasn't like their father didn't have money, because he had quite a lot from a book series that he wrote a while back that became very popular. The problem was that when he was in his drunken stage, he forgot to pay bills, look after his kids, or do much of anything. Sometimes Anna, Gabriel, or himself had to pick his Father off the floor where he had passed out and drag him to bed. Then there was the cleaning of the spilled alcohol and empty bottles that would be scattered around the house. Because if this, they have learned to take care of themselves, as well as each other; this was one of those instances. This in turn has bonded them in a way that most siblings couldn't even begin to understand; they were closer because of it. 

 

Cas pulled the long sleeves down a little; covering his frozen hands with the soft thick wool. His feet were tucked under his body, and a thick textbook lay in his lap as he finished up his homework. He was in a pretty good mood today, for he was finally able to make it down the stairs on his own with only a small amount of difficulty. He didn't like feeling as if he was a burden to Anna, or Gabriel; they had other things to do then care for their little brother, and he felt guilty when they stayed home to do just that. Just because he was ordered by the doctor to stay within the house, didn't mean that his family was, too. That was unfair. 

A beeping from his phone broke Cas from his thoughts. Picking up his phone, he unlocked the screen to view the text he just received. It was from Dean. Cas immediately felt a smile touch his lips as he quickly read it. 

 

Cas what r u doing?  
-Dean

 

Physics homework. Why?  
-Cas

 

Thought about coming over but if ur too busy...  
-Dean

 

Cas could practically sense the smirk in Dean's text and he rolled his eyes before replying.  
Nice try. Get over here  
-Cas

 

On my way bossypants  
-Dean

 

Cas smiled, and his heart did a weird stop and start rhythm that seemed to happen whenever he thought of Dean, or was about to see him. It had only been a day since he last saw him, but he couldn't help but miss the other boy. It was silly to be so attached this early in their relationship, but Cas also felt giddy with joy and anticipation as he thought the word. He had never been able to see himself in a relationship, nor did he ever really have a strong desire for one. Now that he was in one, with a boy that gave him butterflies from simply looking at him, he understood what the big hype about it was all about. Maybe it was only the "honeymoon stage" of their relationship that made him smile like an idiot when Dean was nearby, but he doubted it. There was something more to this thing they had. Something that he just couldn't bring himself to say; even in his own head. This feeling quickly erased the suspicion Cas had of Dean not long after their first kiss, for Dean was caring, and worried about Cas constantly, even though he tried to hide it. Dean was so very different from the assholes at school; he cared about Cas. 

 

The doorbell rang; echoing through the chilly house. Cas closed his physics textbook, setting it on the coffee table with a heavy thud, and padded over in his slippers to answer the door, with only a slight pain in his left side. He had some trouble unlocking the lock due to his numb fingers, but eventually he won the battle; turning the handle and opening the door. Dean was standing on his front porch in his combat boots, and leather jacket; momentarily taking Cas' breath away. Cas felt himself beam at him, and Dean smiled back with a magnificent smile of his own. All of Cas' previous memories of the nightmares he had during the night, were swept from his mind. He felt lighter; less troubled. Dean was like a splash of fresh ocean water upon his face, for it washed away his worries. 

 

Still smiling, Dean walked up to Cas, cradling his face, and kissed him tenderly; just a quick press of lips, and whispered, "Hey there, beautiful." Cas flushed at his words, and tried looking away to hide it, but Dean only moved his head back so he could see his face. 

 

"Hello, Dean." Cas said rather bashfully. Dean had a thing for using pet names to refer to Cas. Not that Cas minded it, because he actually quite enjoyed Dean calling him things like baby, babe, beautiful, etc. He just had a tough time believing the other boy's words, for they seemed ridiculous; impossible. Cas was not used to such attention, or compliments, and it tended to make him a tad embarrassed. Whenever he tried to say he wasn't, Dean would only compliment him more throughout the day. Cas didn't argue this time, because he knew how Dean would do just that. 

 

Dean chuckled, and stepped around Cas to get inside the house; shivering as he entered. He turned to look at Cas. "What the fuck? Why the hell is it so god damn cold in here, Cas?" Dean looked concerned as he questioned him, raising an eyebrow while taking off his boots when he didn't get a reply at first. Cas worried the inside of his lip; trying to think of some good excuse as to why the house felt like the inside of a freezer. If he told the truth, Dean would most likely get angry at his Father, and might even go as far as to confront him. Cas was not in the mood for a fight, but he didn't want to lie to Dean either. So he decided on only telling half of the truth. 

 

"My Father forgot to pay the gas bill, that's all. He will pay it tomorrow." Cas knew it was a lie; he had no idea when his Father would get his head out of his ass and pay the bill, but he said it anyways to make Dean stop looking at him with so much concern. Cas looked down at his feet, fiddling with a loose string at the hem of his sweater. He hated lying to Dean, but admitting that his Father was a deadbeat was simply not an option. Dean had of course met his Father a few times, when he was sober enough to get out of bed, so he could tell that he drank quite often. Cas knew his Father had no idea what Dean really was to him; he figured he was just a friend, and Cas wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. Anna liked Dean very much, but Gabriel still felt overly protective of Cas when Dean was around. He figured it was his natural duty as a big brother. 

 

Dean was obviously not convinced by his lie. He frowned at Cas, walking over to him, picking up his bony hands, then rubbing them gently with his larger ones to heat them up. Cas sighed happily; enjoying Dean's warmth. Dean was like his own personal space heater. The thought made the smile return to replace Cas' frown. 

 

"This is complete bullshit, Cas. You're gonna catch a cold, or something. How the fuck are you supposed to get any better when you're living in a god damn igloo?!" The smile dropped from Cas' face rather quickly. Dean often lost his temper when he was trying to voice his concern, or frustration, but Cas knew he wasn't mad at him; just the situation. The situation his Father put them in. 

 

"He promised he would." Cas took back his hands from Dean's grasp, sighing, and walked into the living room; plopping down on the sofa with his legs underneath him. Dean rubbed a hand over his face tiredly, then followed Cas; sitting close by him on the large couch. 

 

Dean placed a hand on his knee, squeezing it lightly, before saying, "Cas, I can tell when you're lying, 'cos you always look away from me when you are. So why lie when you know I can see right through it?" It was not said harshly. Dean was right of course. Cas was a terrible liar, for whenever he tried, he would turn red, and be incapable of making eye contact with the person he was lying to. Dean was beginning to pick up on many of Cas' mannerisms, but he didn't think it was a bad thing until now. He didn't want to tell Dean the truth, because he didn't want him to worry. He did far too much of that already. 

 

Cas looked over and met green eyes, and knew Dean was not going to give up until Cas told him the truth, for Dean was almost as stubborn as he was. "I don't know when it is going to be turned back on. I doubt he has even noticed it." He admitted, looking away again. "But Anna, Gabriel, and I have set up some space heaters around the house, so it's not so bad. I'm fine, really." Cas glanced up, hoping what he had just said will put some of the other boy's worry at ease. Dean looked back at him for a long moment, then sighed; wrapping his arm around Cas, and letting him curl around his side. Cas snuggled close him; wrapping his arm around his waist. This was probably the warmest place in the house, and Cas clung to the heat radiating off of Dean. 

 

"Whatever you say, Cas. Just...just make sure you wear warm clothes, okay?" Then a smirk spread over Dean's mouth. "Can't have you getting sick when our date isn't very far away, now can we?" It was true; Cas was going back to school on Monday, and he would no longer be bedridden. Anticipation and nervousness altered between each other in Cas. He had never been on a date before. What was he to wear? Where was Dean going to take him? What would people think when they saw them together on their date, or at school? Would Dean play dumb, and act like they were simply friends? Cas hoped not, but was also scared to even think about how people would react to their new relationship status. School was going to be hell on Monday if they found out. What if they reacted with hatred and violence? He would never be able to forgive himself if Dean got hurt because of him. 

 

Dean lent forward and kissed the edge of his mouth again and again until Cas gave in and let out a giggle; smiling up at him. "What are you scared of, Cas?" Dean rubbed his arm comfortingly. Cas thought about a way to explain his worries in a way that Dean would understand. 

 

"What are we going to tell people, Dean? People are most likely not going to take it well, especially those at school. I mean...what if they get angry? What are people going to do to us? What...are we going to do?" Cas inhaled through his nose and exhaled slowly out through his mouth in an attempt to ease back his upcoming panic attack. "I'm scared of how they will react. I mean...if you even want to be public that is. I...you won't hurt my feelings if you don't want people to know. I-I'll understand." Cas did in fact mind, but if keeping what they had private kept Dean safe, then it couldn't be so bad. He buried his face in Dean's shoulder; breathing in the smell of him, and hoping that Dean doesn't get mad at his suggestion. 

 

"I'm not worried about some assholes at school, Cas. Who cares what they think? Yeah, it'll be tough as hell, but...I want people to know that you're mine, Cas. That you chose me, and I chose you." Cas' heartbeat began working double time as he looked up at Dean with a shocked expression. Dean met his stare and caught his mouth in a soft kiss; parting only after a few seconds. "I'm not going to hide it. We're doing nothing wrong, you know that right?" Dean asked, arching an eyebrow questioningly. 

 

"Yes, of course, but they think we are, and people can be cruel, Dean. I've grown up being bullied. I know what I'm talking about. They may be assholes, but they're assholes who have the potential to make a scene." Cas' voice began to shake a little as he continued his rant. "What if things get violent?" Dean opened his mouth, but Cas interrupted him, because he already knew what he was going to say. "I know you'll protect me, Dean. That's not what I'm worried about. What I'm worried about is you getting in the middle, and trying to save me. You have a temper, and you know it. If things get out of hand..." Cas took a deep breath. "...you could get hurt. They could hurt you, Dean. I really would rather that didn't happen and..." Dean interrupted his rambling with a hard kiss. 

 

"You worry too much, baby. Nothing's going to happen to you, or to me. I won't let it. Just trust me when I say that, okay?" Cas nodded slowly; not completely convinced, but grateful how hard Dean was trying. Cas knew his little panic attacks must be irritating, but Dean always got him to calm dowm. "Okay. So that's that. And as for those assholes that hurt you, I made damn sure they won't even look at you. Since you refuse to go to the police, I'll make the rest of their high school years a living hell." Dean concluded. Cas met him halfway when he leaned down; joining their mouths together. 

 

Cas tangled his hands in the hair at the back of Dean's neck, leaning into the kiss with more force, and opening his mouth as he felt something come alive within the pit of his stomach. This urged Dean on and he kissed Cas with more urgency; pushing his tongue past Cas' lips; dragging it against all areas of Cas' mouth. Cas whimpered when Dean's tongue met his, and Dean growled; pushing at his shoulders, insisting that he lay down on the couch. Cas complied, stretching out his lean body on the sofa as Dean covered him with his larger, more built one. Cas moaned softly at the weight over him; it felt nice. No, it felt amazing. He wanted more; wanted Dean closer. His body became pliant under Dean's roaming hands. Cas shifted on the couch, trying to get closer to the other boy, and his legs fell apart; allowing Dean to slot in between them abruptly, and Cas gasped at the spark of electricity that went through him when their hips met. He wondered if perhaps he should put a stop to it now before they got too carried away, but just then, Dean pushed down with his hips forcefully, effectively scattering Cas' thoughts, and he began to tremble. 

 

When Dean broke away to catch his breath, he placed open mouthed kisses on Cas' neck, and Cas could think a little more clearly. "Dean, stop. N-not tonight." Cas was still a virgin and he was scared of the thought of losing said virginity. It still felt like it was far too soon to go that far with him yet. He trusted Dean, and he did want him, but he also didn't want his first time to be on his living room couch; where anyone could walk in and see them. He would rather avoid the embarrassment. 

 

Dean lifted his head from his throat with a groan and looked at him. "Okay, but my blue balls is all your fault, I hope you know that." Dean said teasingly as he brought them both back into their former sitting positions with Cas close.

 

Cas snorted at that, adjusting his glasses on his face properly, rolling his eyes, but blushed anyways. "My apologies." Dean only chuckled in response. They sat there, in each others arms, and watched television. Cas was content to stay there for as long as humanly possible, but that wasn't realistic and he knew it. The silence was broken about a half hour later when Dean spoke again. 

 

"Hey Cas, what would you say to meeting my parents?" He said it so calmly; like it was no big deal. It was a big deal though. A huge deal. Cas' eyes widened. He was not expecting that at all, and couldn't think of anything to say. Dean wanted him to meet his parents? His parents knew about their relationship, but Cas was still nervous about meeting them. What if they didn't approve of him? Would Dean listen to his parents if they forbid him from seeing Cas? Dean saw the panic rise within Cas and he began soothing him. "Hey, hey, Cas. It's okay. I just thought that maybe you'd want to meet them, that's all. It's not a problem if you're not ready." Dean rubbed his arm in an attempt to ease some of the tension from his body. "They won't judge you, if that's what you're worried about. In fact, my mother will probably love you." Dean chuckled. "She hasn't stopped asking me to bring you over ever since I told her we were together." A fond look spread over Dean's face. Dean loved his mother, and he talked about her quite often. 

 

Cas bit his lip, pushing his glasses back up with his index finger. "I do want to meet them. It's just...what if they hate me? What if they don't approve?" He really did want to meet Dean's family. He wanted to see the faces that Dean talked about so often, to get to know more about the other boy. It was the fear of their judgement that left him feeling scared to even think about coming face to face with them. "They say the first impression is when people make up their mind about you. Whether they like you, or not, and if you haven't noticed, I suck at first impressions." Dean snorted at the whining tone that crept into Cas' voice at the end, and Cas scowled up at him. 

 

"You worry too much, baby. They're not going to hate you. It's impossible. Sammy alone is going to be psyched out of his mind to have another nerd around." Dean laughed again, then became a little more serious. "Please. I...let me take you to my house to meet my parents." Cas found it hard to so no to Dean when he said things so softly and Dean knew it. He would just have to put on his big-boy-pants and tell himself that he was being stupid. Dean said that his parents already knew about them and that they didn't care. So why was he still so nervous?

 

Sighing, Cas finally gave in, letting his shoulders slump in defeat. "...okay. When did you want to go exactly?" Maybe he wasn't planning on Cas meeting his family for a while. He hoped that was the case, so he could have some time to mentally prepare himself, as pathetic as that sounded. 

 

"Tomorrow." Shit. That tiny amount of hope died in Cas. He should have known, because if he has learned anything during the past five weeks, it was that Dean was a very spontaneous person, who tended to make a lot of last minute decisions. Of course, this was one of the things that Cas liked about Dean, for he himself was always so scared of everything, and Dean seemed to be scared of nothing. It made Cas feel braver in a way. Made him want to be just as carefree; to do things without much caution, or speculation as he has always done. This could be one time where he just let Dean take care of it; to simply go along with his plans. Dean really wanted Cas to meet his family, judging by the fact that he brought it up at all, and Cas knew he couldn't say no. 

 

He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "I'll let Anna and Gabriel know that I'm going to be at your house. What time did you want to go?" Dean beamed down at him, clearly pleased that he decided to go. That smile reassured Cas that he had made the right choice. 

 

"I'll pick you up at noon." Dean smiled and kissed Cas quickly on the lips, then each of his cheeks, then his neck. Cas giggled and halfheartedly pushed at Dean's shoulders; embarrassed at the sudden display of affection. This only spurred Dean on, sneaking his hands up under Cas' baggy orange sweater, tickling his sides. Cas gasped and his soft giggles turned into full out laughter. He pushed at Dean's hands, but Dean was stronger, so he eventually gave up; laying there, laughing and panting into Dean's neck until he stopped. Dean laughed and finally showed Cas mercy and stopped his tickle attack. 

 

After Cas had regained his breath, he glared at the other boy. "Just because you're stronger than I am, doesn't mean you should abuse that power." Dean only smirked at him in response. 

 

*****

 

After watching two movies, and sharing a microwave pizza, it was getting late and time for Dean to go home. Cas stood at the doorway, kissing Dean goodbye. "I could just stay the night. You'd be so much warmer and safer with me around, you know." Dean said, waggling his eyebrows at him suggestively. Cas rolled his eyes, pushing Dean lightly to the door and out onto the porch. 

 

"I don't think so." Cas blushed at the teasing. Dean liked to make suggestions like that, and compliment him just to see Cas turn red. Judging by Dean's cocky smirk, that was exactly what he was aiming for, although there was a hint of seriousness in his tone. "I'll be fine, Dean. Honest." He smiled. "If I get too cold, I'll make sure I call you immediately." He knew Dean was truly worried about him, so he hoped that his words would reassure him that he was fine. 

 

Dean looked at him for a long moment, searching his face, his eyes showing some emotion that Cas couldn't identify. Then it cleared and Dean smiled a small smile, way less happy as before, and pecked Cas on the lips one last time. "I hope you mean that, because I really don't want you getting sick. Make sure you sleep near one of those damn space heaters, okay babe?" Cas noticed how protective Dean could be of the people that he cared about, and a sudden wave of happiness rose within Cas as he realized he was now on that short list of people that Dean felt the need to protect. 

 

Cas smiled at him in wonder. "I will, Dean. I'll sleep in the oven if that will make you stop worrying." Dean snorted at that then left with a promise to be there at noon to pick him up. 

 

Cas watched Dean slide into the driver's side of his beloved Impala and drive off; only closing the door when he could no longer see him. As soon as the door was closed, Cas realized he was alone in the house, and his anxiety struck him like a kick to the stomach; making him feel sick. He closed his eyes, took deep breaths, and tried to reason with himself that his fear was stupid and nothing was going to happen to him. Cas slowly opened his eyes and took in the sight of the empty hallway, the entrance to the living room on the left side, and the dark staircase at the right wall of the main hallway. The only light in the darkness was the end table lamps in the living room, so the majority of the large house was engulfed in shadows. The blackness was so thick in some areas, that he couldn't see at all. His heartbeat quickened in fear. He didn't want to be alone, especially at night. Anna was at a friend's house for the weekend, and Gabriel was out partying, and who knew what time he'd be back. As for his Father, he took off a few days ago and hasn't returned. This was the first night since the attack that he had been the only person in the house, and it terrified him beyond belief. Cas thought about calling Dean, but then he would have to explain how scared he was and how his nightmares have tormented him since the first night at the hospital. Cas didn't want to see the pitying look in Dean's eyes. He was most likely home by now anyways. Also, what if Dean said no? What if he was only joking about offering to stay the night? On the other hand, Cas did detect a hint of seriousness in his tone, and knew Dean well enough by now to know that if Cas asked him to, he would do almost anything for him, and he almost always kept his promises. Dean was reliable like that. Cas contemplated what to do for whole ten minutes, and he had still not moved an inch. Fear kept him where he was. 

 

Finally giving in to his pride, he ran into the living room and picked up his phone from the coffee table; dialing Dean's number. It started to ring, and Cas began wondering if maybe he was making a mistake, but before he could hang up and change his mind, Dean answered and quickly picked up on Cas hyperventilating. "Cas? What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Can you get up the stairs?" He sounded panicked almost with worry, and Cas felt horrible for it, and regretted calling. He was calling because he was scared of the dark, not because he was hurt. Great. Now how was he going to word it so he didn't sound like a pathetic toddler who had a nightmare?

 

"No...I-I'm fine. I...it's nothing. I'm sorry I called. I'll just let you get back to-" His nerves made his words come out choppy and fast. He'd be surprised if Dean understood one word he said. 

 

"Hey Cas, calm down. If everything was fine then you wouldn't have called me, so don't bullshit me, Cas. What's wrong? Spit it out." Dean interrupted, but not harshly. 

 

Cas worried the inside of his cheek, debating whether, or not he should just tell Dean the real reason he was calling. If he tried to lie again, Dean would be able to tell. He decided to just say it and get it over with. "I-I'm scared, Dean. The house feels so empty and dark, and Anna and Gabriel are not here, so I'm all alone, and I really don't want t-to be alone right now...m-m-my nightmares keep me up and I know that they'll most likely be worse due to the fact that I'm home alone and...and I-I really don't want to be alone...it scares me, Dean." Cas began to choke up near the end of his rant, and tears gathered in his eyes; threatening to spill over. He knew how needy he sounded, and he hated it. He was going to scare Dean away if he continued to act so clingy. Cas could only hope that that time wouldn't come soon. The sound of screeching wheels brought Cas out of his panic a little. "D-dean?"

 

"I'm on my over, okay? Just calm down, and I'll be there as fast as I can, alright? Sit down and take some deep breaths." Dean instructed. Cas could hear the sound of the engine grow louder through his phone as Dean pushed down on the gas until he hung up; making the house quiet once again. Dean was going to be here soon. The thought alone soothed some of Cas' anxiety. 

 

Cas did as he was told, entering the dim living room and sitting on the couch with his legs brought up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them tight. He was not so successful with his deep breaths though; they sounded forced and shallow even to his own ears. What was wrong with him? Cas thought he must be going crazy. Dean isn't going to want a crazy person. How could he? Shit. He felt stupid and childish for calling him, but he was also glad that Dean didn't seem to be mad about it. Although, he might feel differently when he gets here; only to find Cas fine physically, but broken mentally. No one ever had much patience for Cas' anxiety, and since the attack, it has only gotten worse. Unfortunately, it was not something that he could just turn off. It was a part of him, whether he liked it, or not. He dug his blunt fingernails of his right hand into the skin of his left wrist forcefully, and dragged them about an inch down his forearm. He stopped only when he broke the skin and five crescent moon shaped indents appeared with trails of scraped away skin about two inches long; dripping blood. Cas stared at the bright red blood on his pale skin. For some reason, he felt better; not as panicked as before. The pain seemed to help bring him out of his fretting. He was still terrified of being alone tonight, but it eased some of his nauseousness. After a second of starring at it, he realized what he had done and felt sick all over again. He got up and ran to the bathroom near the stairs; grabbing toilet paper and wrapping it around his wrist, trying to dab away the blood that oozed down his arm. God. He really was going crazy. He finished wrapping it, then pulled down the sleeve of his sweater to cover it up. He didn't want Dean to see it and realize just how insane Cas had become. He would leave him for sure then. 

 

The sound of someone bursting through the door, and then slamming it shut made Cas jump, and his heartbeat quicken. For a split second he thought that maybe it was an intruder, until Dean's voice echoed through the empty house. "Cas? Where the fuck are you?" Cas slowly stepped out of the bathroom and stood in the dark hallway, with the light from the bathroom silhouetting him. Dean turned and stopped immediately when he took in the sight of his boyfriend. Cas knew he must look terrible, judging by the shocked expression on Dean's face. "Cas? What is it?" His tone was so soft; quiet as if he thought he might startle Cas if he spoke too loudly. He noted that he didn't look angry at all, just concerned. Seeing him, Cas couldn't regret his decision to call him, for he needed him. He ran down the hall and into the other boy's strong arms, which wrapped around him protectively; holding together the broken pieces of him. Cas lost his control and hot tears began to flow down his face. "Shh, baby. It's okay, it's okay. Shit. I'll stay if you need me to stay. All you ever had to do was ask." He whispered in his ear soothingly and Cas felt safe at once. 

 

Cas hated to admit it, but he did need him to stay. "W-will you stay?" Cas choked out, his voice muffled by Dean's leather jacket. 

 

"Of course I will, baby. I said that I would, didn't I?" Cas sniffled, but gave only a tiny nod in response. "Okay then. Let's get you upstairs." Dean pulled back, and wrapped an arm around Cas' waist; keeping him close as he headed up the stairs. It was a long process due to Cas' still sore ribs, but Dean was as patient with him as ever. When they reached the landing, they made their way into Cas' bedroom. Dean flicked on the light switch and led Cas to the bed in the middle of the room, against the far wall, where he gently placed him down on the white sheets. He sat there and looked up at Dean through tear filled eyes as he watched him remove his combat boots and leather jacket, tossing them on the floor by the bed, before stepping towards him. He sat on the edge of the bed and Cas climbed into his lap; grateful that he was there. Dean gently rocked him back and forth. "You need to tell me what's going on, Cas. I can't help you if you don't. Please, baby. Just tell me."

 

"I've been having these...horrible nightmares, Dean. They...just feel so real and..they leave me feeling scared all day." Cas wiped at his eyes behind his thick frames with his sleeve. "I hate being alone, especially at night. I-I'm going crazy, I know I am, but I can't stop it. I can't do it." Cas continued to tell Dean about everything. About how his nightmares haunt him, and how the strangest things tend to scare him. If he was going to scare Dean away, he figured he might as well get it over with by admitting to his insanity now. He told him how the pain felt so real; how it made him wake up sore. He told him how he dreaded sleeping alone, for he knew the nightmares would return as soon as he closed his eyes and there would be no one there for him when he awoke. Dean sat there, stroking his dark hair from his face as he explained; just listening until Cas became too exhausted to continue and stopped. 

 

Dean moved him to lay down on the bed, removing his slippers, and easing him under the thick down comforter. After turning off the light, he climbed under the covers next to him; letting Cas cling to his side with his head on Dean's chest and an arm wrapped around his waist. "I'll be here to wake you if you start having nightmares, okay? I won't leave you alone. I promise." He kissed Cas tenderly on the forehead and tightened his arms around the smaller boy. Dean's words made Cas feel so safe and secure; like anything that could ever hurt him, wouldn't ever dare to try with Dean there. Cas buried his face in his shirt and wondered how he could have ever felt so scared when he knew Dean would come as soon as he needed him. The thought made Cas, despite himself, smile a small smile; feeling content. A soft rumble started in Dean's chest as he began to hum "Hey Jude". Cas loved the Beatles and Dean knew it. He had always found their music comforting, especially this song, for his Mother used to sing it to him when he was little. A small sob escaped him as he realized this. 

 

"Honey, just go to sleep." He wondered if he ever mentioned that his mother used to sing that song to him, but he was far too tired to ask him. He felt that feeling he had for Dean increase in intensity, but he dare not say it out loud, for it seemed impossible. How could he feel so strongly for someone that he just started dating five weeks ago? Cas had never believed in fairy tale endings, or soul mates, but being with Dean made him rethink all of his previous thoughts on relationships. If soul mates did exist, like they did in those cheesy chick-flicks, then he was almost positive that Dean was his. So Cas drifted into a deep sleep to the sound of Dean's voice and to the feel of his warmth surrounding him. Cas thought of how Dean was as calming as the sea and as warm as the sun. He wished he could keep that sea and sun forever. 

 

Cas slept through the night with no nightmares.


	4. I'll Stay the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just going to start off by saying that I am so very very sorry for my absence. My computer broke and the only way that I could access the internet was on my iPod, which is rather difficult to use for editing a chapter. I meant it when i said that i would not abandon this story. I recently purchased a laptop, so updates will be coming regularly again. I hope you enjoy this chapter and feedback is always appreciated. :)

Bright morning light streaming in through his blinds shone in Cas' face; waking him. He groaned, for it was far too early to be awake and turned over, burying his face in the warm chest next to him. Cas' eyes snapped open as the memories of last night came back to him. He sat up abruptly and looked down at Dean, fast asleep, by his side. His short spiky hair was a mess and Cas knew his was not much better looking. If anyone came home and saw them, Cas would have to answer to their questioning, but at the moment he simply did not care. Last night he slept soundly with no nightmares to leave him gasping for breath and shaking in fear. It was nice to just sleep, to dream happy dreams for a change.

He exhaled slowly and layed back down, resting his head on Dean's chest again. His head moved along with the steady rise and fall of the other boy's body as he breathed. The pumping of his heart reached Cas' ears and he closed his eyes feeling more content than he had ever been. Dean was too good to be real, but he was. That was the miracle of the whole situation; that this thing that they had was real. They definitely were not the perfect couple; they fought about the strangest things sometimes, and they got on each other's nerves often, causing one to storm off angrily. Not long after a fight though, they would admit they were wrong and that they were sorry. 

 

Dean was possessive, which tended to get annoying, and Cas was stubborn, which was just as irritating to Dean. But there were things that they liked about each other that outweighed the bad. For instance, Dean could make Cas laugh without even trying, he cared for him deeply, and, most of all, made him feel safe. Dean would look at Cas sometimes when he didn't understand a reference, or when he was pouting about something Dean did with a look full of so much adoration that it took Cas' breath away and cause color to flood to his pale cheeks. That only made Dean smile more. 

 

Dean stirred as sleep left him and Cas snuggled to his side even more; not wanting this to end. Dean chuckled, "Alright you octopus, you gonna let me up anytime soon?" He said, his voice still thick from sleep, but wrapped his arm around Cas, holding him in place. 

 

Cas sighed happily before saying, "No. Too tired." He was going to stay in bed as long as he could. He was too comfortable to move. Not that he was ever much of a morning person. 

 

Dean snorted at that. "Yeah, well rise and shine, sleeping beauty. You gotta meet my parents today remember?" 

 

"Exactly why we should stay in bed. They're going to hate me." 

"Castiel," he began softly, "how many times do I have to tell you for you to believe me? They're not going to hate you. They'll love you. I'm damn sure of it." Dean stated, running his hand through Cas' dark tousled hair. His nails scratch lightly at his scalp and Cas leaned into the touch. 

 

"You can't possibly know that. Contrary to what you may think, you are not always right." Cas said, rolling his eyes, but still feeling a tad anxious at the idea of actually meeting Dean's family today. 

 

Dean scoffed at that, "Of course I am." He then sat up, bringing a reluctant Cas with him. "Time to get up." 

 

Cas groaned and laid back down, covering his head with his thick comforter. "No." Dean would have to drag him out of bed before he got up willingly. Dean seemed to realize this, because the next thing Cas knew, his blankets are being ripped away from him and he's being hauled out of bed and swung over Dean's shoulder. Dean then proceeded to head out of his bedroom and down the stairs, ignoring Cas’ protests. Even though Cas was thin, he was still surprised just how strong Dean was. His weight should have slowed him down, or tired him, but he seemed unaffected as he entered the kitchen, placing Cas in a chair at the table. Cas glared up at him in annoyance, "I hate you." 

 

"No, you don't." Dean smirked at him, amused at Cas' pouting at being carried out of bed like a child. He pulled Cas’ glasses out of his pocket and placed them upon his face.

 

Cas rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes, I do." He knew that he must look like a bratty five year old right now, but he was tired and he wasn’t used to having to interact with people when he first wakes up. 

 

Dean leaned down, cradling Cas' face in his hands and pressed their lips together. Cas melted into the kiss instantly; his irritation leaving him almost immediately. Dean knew how to get his way when he was being difficult. Cas would get him back for this somehow, but for now he let him have his victory. After only a few seconds, Dean pulled back to look at him, "Get ready. We leave at noon." 

 

Cas sighed heavily, but got up anyways, saying, "I'm going to make breakfast first, though. If you want to brush your teeth, there is a spare one in the bathroom down the hall." Dean nodded and headed to the bathroom as Cas went over to the fridge to find ingredients for french toast. 

 

He pulled out a half empty carton of eggs, milk, vanilla extract, and bread and placed them on the counter beside a large glass mixing bowl. Cooking kept his mind busy and not thinking about how he would be meeting Dean's parents today. Perhaps if he just calmed down, it would all turn out alright. 

 

He picked up an egg and knocked it against the edge of the kitchen counter, creating a crack in which he used his fingers to pull the egg in two, allowing the insides to fall into the bowl, and tossing the egg shell in the garbage. He repeated this process with a couple more eggs, and then proceeded to add the rest of the ingredients, whisking them until they blended together smoothly and made a paste type of mixture. The pan on the stove was set over an open flame that was set on low, with a slab of butter in the center. Cas dipped the first slice of bread in the heavy mixture, making sure it got over both sides, before he placed it in the pan. The sound of the sizzling from the pan filled the kitchen and the delicious smell, complemented by the morning light coming in from the kitchen windows, woke him up a little more. He pulled a spatula out of the drawer on his left and flipped the bread slice over, pressing down on it. His mind was currently focused on the task at hand and he began to hum softly as he worked. After each slice of bread was cooked evenly on both sides, he placed them on a plate on the counter, and soon the plate held six thick slices. He figured that that should be enough and turned off the stove, and put the pan in the sink. 

 

As he was running water over the pan, he didn't hear Dean walk over to him, and jumped slightly as he felt strong arms wrap around his waist from behind. Dean chuckled softly at his jumpiness and leaned down to whisper in his ear, "What were you humming? It sounds familiar." His warm breath ghosted over Cas's ear, causing him to shiver.

 

"Gates of Eden. I like Bob Dylan. I find his music soothing." 

 

"Hmmm. You listen to stuff my mom listens to, you know that?" He chuckled fondly at him, resting his chin on his shoulder, watching as Cas scrubbed the pan.

 

Cas shrugged, "I have always liked older music best. It just seems to have more meaning back then." Cas had gotten his music taste from his mother. He remembered nights in the kitchen as a child as he helped his mother cook dinner, the room filled with the sounds of the music coming from the stereo that was kept on the counter. The gentle breeze of the air streaming in through the open window. She would stop her work suddenly, grab his hand, twirling him around and begin a playful waltz. He would always try to pull away at first, for he was embarrassed and not very skilled at dancing, but in the end he gave in happily. Their combined laughter would echo through the kitchen as they danced together. Her voice singing along only seemed to make it sound sweeter; more calming. Cas grew very fond of the bands that they listened to during these events and loved them even more now. They reminded him of his mother when she was young and healthy; when she could still get out of bed to dance. He preferred those memories to the ones where she lie in a bed dying. Cas cleared his throat. He didn't want to think about that now. "Go sit down. Breakfast is almost done and I can't finish it with you attached to my hip." 

 

Dean laughed softly at his tone, "Someone's bossy this morning...I like it." He pulled away, smirking at him over his shoulder before going over to the table and sitting down. 

 

Cas turned off the water and wiped his hands on a dish towel near the sink before grabbing two plates out of the cupboard above the stove. He divided the french toast on the plates, put an extra slice on Dean's, because he knew his stomach was a bottomless pit. It amazed him sometimes just how much Dean could eat. 

 

Balancing the plates on his left arm, so he could carry the forks and syrup, he made his way over to the table and set the plates down. Dean grinned at him at the sight of the breakfast in front of him, "This is awesome, babe." Cas flushed at the praise, but was pleased nonetheless that Dean seemed to appreciate it. Cas took the seat across from Dean, smiling at him for a moment before beginning to eat his portion of french toast. The first bite was delicious. He hadn't even realized just how hungry he was. Now that he was paying attention to it, his stomach snarled; urging him to eat a little quicker. This wouldn’t be the first time that the simple thought of eating has slipped his mind. Unless someone is around to remind him, he usually forgets to eat, especially since the accident. He’s lost a few pounds since then.

 

After a few moments of eating in comfortable silence, Cas could sense someone staring at him and looked up from his almost finished plate, to see Dean looking at him with a strange look on his face. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to say it; like he was trying to figure Cas out as if he was a confusing jigsaw puzzle. Being looked at like that made him self conscious. "What?" Cas asked warily, clearing his throat. He had a feeling what Dean wanted to say, but he hoped he was wrong, because he did not wish to talk about that right now. 

 

Dean stared at him for another second before replying, "What was that last night?" Shit. His assumption was right. Dean wanted answers, but Cas wasn't sure he could give him one, for he hardly understood it himself. What was he going to say that wouldn't make him seem like a complete mental patient? 

“Umm... to be honest, I am not entirely sure. I...I just...freaked, I guess.” He fiddled with his fork nervously and lowered his eyes to his plate. “I don’t like to be alone anymore. Especially at night.”

A heavy silence filled the room and it only made him feel more uncomfortable. He didn’t want to talk about this. Not now at least. Maybe when he can get a moment to wrap his head around what exactly is going on with him.

The sound of Dean’s fork hitting his plate as he threw it down started Cas and he lifted his eyes to see him looking at him with a hard expression. “Dammit, Cas. I want to know what the hell is going on with you. How am I supposed to help, if you won’t tell me what’s wrong?” Dean rubbed his face in exhaustion then started again, but with less anger. “Look..I’m not going to think you’re crazy or whatever bullshit thing you think I’m going to do that’s stopping you from talking to me. You need to tell me, Cas. Cas, please, baby. What is it?” His eyes turned so soft at the end and his deep voice lowered to a whisper. Cas’ throat felt tight and his eyes burned with the tears that wanted to escape. Dean wouldn’t understand. He himself barely understands. He’s acting like a child afraid of the dark and he needs to just grow up. But Dean is still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer and Cas knows that he will not be satisfied without one. The truth is what he needs to tell him.

Cas gulped, “Since that day...I seem to have developed some kind of dependency. I can’t sleep if no one’s home no matter how hard I try. I have these...these...awful dreams, Dean. They’re always the same, but always just as horrible.” His voice was beginning to tremble and he felt a tear roll down his face. “I..I’m scared. I’m scared of everything and I try so hard not to be, to reason with myself, but I just can’t! I hate it when I have to go to bed alone. And last night, I was alone. It was dark and cold and I needed you. That...that’s all.” He doubted that anything he just said made any sense to Dean, but he hoped it did. He didn’t want to have to repeat himself, because saying it the first time was hard enough. Admitting that he is weak, is something that he isn’t good at.

Dean cupped his chin and lifted his face to make him meet his eyes, which looked so very sad. He licked his lips and shook his head. “Cas...that’s all you ever had to say, baby.” then Dean was out of his seat and across the table; grabbing Cas from his chair and hauling him into his arms. Cas clung to him, for he was his rock; the one thing that helped keep him sane. “From now on, you’ll never have to sleep alone. I’ll make damn sure of it.” At Cas’ confused look, Dean continued, “I’ll sneak in every night. Don’t worry. I’m stealthy. no one will catch me.”

“But..” Cas began before Dean silenced him with a kiss.

“No buts. I’ll stay with you every night, for as long as you need me.”

Cas gave in and returned the hug. He sniffed and rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. If Dean said that he could sneak in without getting caught, then Cas believed him. He hasn’t let him down yet. He just felt so stupid. So childish for needing Dean to stay the night with him. He should be able to sleep on his own, but even as he thought it, he couldn’t help but feel glad that he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. It still baffled him that Dean was willing to do so much for him.

 

***

 

Two hours later, the kitchen was clean, his bed was made, and he was showered and dressed for the day. Dean simply brushed his teeth and stated that he was “good to go!”. Cas chose gray sweater with pine trees on it with a pair of khaki pants. He loved colder weather. It allowed him to wear layers of clothing, which has always been a comfort to him. A bad day could all be fixed by a warm cozy sweater and the smell of fall or winter. 

Cas made his way downstairs to find Dean ready and waiting at the bottom of the stairs. “You ready? Or did you want to fix your hair again?” He asked with amusement in his green eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. Cas rolled his eyes. Dean thought he was just so funny.

“I want to look presentable when I meet your family, Dean. Is that such a crime?” He reached the bottom of the stairs and fixed Dean with a look. 

“Oh, you look downright gorgeous.” Dean said as he stepped into Cas’ personal space, his face inches from his own. “Maybe you should have picked something a little less tempting. I can’t have my hands all over you in front my family now can I?” He murmured the words so close to his mouth. The air seemed thicker and his heartbeat quickened.

“N-n-no.” Came Cas’ shaky reply. Dean had the ability to turn his brain into mush and make his knees feel weak with only a few simple words. It really wasn't fair. The feeling of Dean’s lips upon his own will never stop being amazing. Desire pooled in his gut as Dean gripped his hips and brought their bodies flush. Cas opened up to Dean, letting him dominate the kiss and hanging on to his biceps as he was pushed up against the wall. A gasp left him as a knee was nudged between his legs. 

“Dean..” Cas whispered as Dean began to rock gently against him. The friction was driving him crazy. A strong hand grabbed one of his legs and hitched his leg onto Dean’s hip, allowing Dean to fit in between them much easier. the kiss became more urgent as Dean grinded against him with more force and speed than before. Before he met Dean, he never really understood lust or desire and now he couldn’t believe how he could have lived without it. The feeling of having someone so close to him, both physically and mentally, was indescribable. It was heaven. But he was also scared of it. He didn’t want to rush into this and ruin it. It still seemed so delicate. So fragile; breakable. He’s never had to be intimate with someone and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. What if he does something wrong?

“Dean, stop. I can’t. N-not yet.” Cas said it even though he didn’t want to. The unknown was scary and he didn't know if he was ready for that yet. 

Lips grazed his adam's apple softly and he felt the rumble of Dean’s words as he spoke them, “I’ll take care of you, Cas. You wouldn’t have to do a thing. This can be about you this time, baby.” His hand crept down to his belt as he said this. “Let me take care of this.”

Cas swallowed audibly and lowered his leg from Dean’s hip. “I said ‘not yet’. I’m sorry, but I’m not changing my mind. It’s still too soon, Dean.” His voice became a little stronger at the end and he knew Dean wouldn’t push it. He would never make Cas do something that he wasn’t ready for.

Dean sighed heavily in defeat as he stepped back a little, so their hips were no longer connected. “Okay, Cas. I’m sorry, I guess I just... got a little carried away. I forgot.” Cas had told Dean that he was a virgin, knowing that Dean was far from it. He expected him to be mad, but he was completely okay with it, He had said that he wouldn’t push Cas and that they would go slow and he has kept that promise. Dean kissed his forehead one last time before grabbing his hand and pulling a still dazed Cas to the front door. 

Once Dean dragged him out of the house and onto the porch, his anxiety overtook him. There was so much open space. So much room for bad things to happen. For someone to get him. He had no idea if he was safe out here, where he was so exposed and vulnerable to the world. Looking up at the sky that he used to love so much, now made his stomach twist into knots. For the first time, he experienced a fear of heights. The sky was endless and so very high up. Cas’ head began to swirl uncomfortably as he stopped and closed his eyes; attempting to gain some composure over himself. The ground underneath his feet felt like it has turned into rubber and he wobbled a little. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and felt it’s fast pace in his throat. Heat coursed through him and he balled his hands into tight fists, cutting into the skin of his palms with his nails. The air seemed thicker; harder to breathe in. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs fast enough. Cas longed for the comfort of walls around him. Something solid; a physical barrier between him and the evils of the outside world. He distantly felt Dean tugging on his hand gently and saying something, but whatever he said, was lost to Cas. At the moment he was just focusing on not passing out. He tried to listen to what Dean was saying to him. “Baby, listen to me. You have to breathe. Deep breathes, Cas. Come on. I know you can do this.” Cas obeyed and began to take in deep breathes; in through his nose and out through his mouth. Exactly how Dean had taught him to whenever he got like this. The rough hand in his own squeezed a little tighter and it helped ground him. “That’s it, Cas. That’s it. Come back to me.” Hands cradled Cas’ face and a thumb stroked his cheek tenderly. Cas opened his eyes slowly to meet concerned green ones looking back at him. “That’s my boy.” Dean smiled at him.

“I’m okay.” Cas tried to reassure Dean, but it barely came out as more than a faint whisper. He knew that he probably didn’t look much better. His face shone with sweat and had gone pale with fear. This wasn’t the first time that something like this has happened. It’s always little things that set him off. And every time, Dean is there for him; coaching him on how to get his breathing back to normal. One day Dean will have grown fed up with Cas’ little anxiety attacks and leave him. He just knows it, How could he ever want to be with someone who’s slowly losing their minds?

Dean must have seen something like what Cas was thinking in his expression, because he smiled sadly at him and said, “It’s okay, Cas. I’m right here.I’m not goin’ anywhere” For now he would believe those words. Maybe they could be true. 

“I’m sorry.” He tried to return a smile, but it was a weak attempt. He felt so tired all of a sudden. 

Dean frowned at his words and shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Fucking nothing. It’s not your fault.” He straightened out and gripped Cas’ hand, pulling him towards his car again. “Let’s go. You can tell me if it’s too much and we’ll turn right back around, okay?”

Cas took another deep breath before nodding and following Dean down the steps and across the driveway. There was a chilly winter breeze that swept across his face and made him feel better almost instantly. There wasn’t any snow on the ground yet, but with temperatures plummeting, there would be soon. That simple thought cheered him. He adored the snow. Dean held his door open for him as he slid into the passenger side. The interior of the car smelt of Dean; of leather and a woodsy musk. Moments later, Dean was in the drivers side and starting the car. A smile grew on the other boy’s face as he heard the sound of the engine rev. He revved it few times before pulling out of the driveway and heading to his house. Cas snorted at him. He was such a guy.

 

****

In front of Cas was a lovely two story home that was yellow with white shutters. The front door was large and a dark brown, with lanterns hanging on both sides. It had a wrap around porch with rocking chairs and a porch swing. Bird feeders hung from nearby trees, swaying in the wind. There was a small barn painted the same shade of yellow as the house in the right side of the backyard and a gravel trail leading to it. Stones lined the path to the front door of the house and flowers that had died from the cold, outlined it.Trees surrounded the home. He could tell that it was very old; it held so much character. Not like new homes have these days. Cas has always preferred older homes, because of this. It was something out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. He could just imagine how beautiful it will look in the spring. When the birds have returned and the flowers has bloomed, bringing with them honey bees.The sound of their buzzing and the happy songs of the birds filling the warm air. It must be breathtaking. 

“It’s beautiful, Dea.” Cas turned to beam at the other boy as they walked up the stone path to the front door. 

Dean smiled back at him. “I’m glad you like it. It’s been in the family for like a hundred years or something like that.” He waved his other hand that wasn’t holding his own in the air dismissively. “My great grandfather built this house for my great grandmother when they got married. It was like some kind of a wedding gift.” He chuckled. “They had to get married young, cuz he went and got her knocked up. “ He turned to smirk at Cas and winked. “Nobody can turn down the Winchester charm.” Cas rolled his eyes at the other boy. “It’s been a tradition that the first born gets the house when they get married. I’ll get this house one day and my parents will move into the cottage.” Cas was a little surprised that Dean wanted to get married one day. Although he really shouldn't be. He has learned how much Dean values family and it would make sense that he would want to grow one of his own. Cas on the other hand, has never really thought much about it. 

They reached the front door and it creaked as Dean held it open as Cas walked through the threshold. The inside was just as amazing as the outside. They had obviously stuck to the old fashioned theme, for the wallpaper was blue with pink flowers and vines and the furniture looked like antiques. The grand staircases on the right and the left of the main hallway were dark oak, with white railing. Pictures hung from the walls in almost every room. There were two rooms on both side of them with french doors that were left open. A chandler dangled above them, but wasn’t lit. He could tell it was one where it required candles instead of electricity. It seemed that they have kept the home as traditional to its’ original layout as possible. Cas loved it already. 

A squeal like noise brought him from his thoughts. 

“Oh my! You must be Cas!” The voice came from a smiling woman with curly blonde hair, defined cheekbones and faint freckles. Now he sees where Dean got them from.

The woman who was obviously Dean’s mother stopped in front of them, beaming at them both, looking excited. “Dean has told me so much about you! I’m Mary. Dean’s mother.” She held out a hand and Cas hesitated before he raised his hand shook hers shyly.

“You...umm.. have a very lovely home, Mrs. Winchester.” He stuttered nervously. What a stereotypical thing to say to the mother of his boyfriend. Great. Now he sounds like he’s rehearsed this or something. 

 

“Oh dear, call me Mary. No misses or mams in this house. Makes me feel old!” Cas laughed at that and felt some of the tension leave his body. She reminded him so much of his mother; her sweet smile and her sense of humor. 

“Alright..Mary. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“As of you. I’ve been telling Dean to bring you over sooner, but he kept telling me not to push it! But I have heard so very much about you. And you are quite handsome!”

Cas blushed at her words and Dean groaned next to him. “Mom. Are you done embarrassing him, or do you have something else to say?”

Mary only rolled her eyes at her son, putting her hands in the air in surrender. “Okay, but it’s your fault. I have been waiting to meet the boy who has made my Dean so happy!”

Cas turned to smirk at Dean with an eyebrow raised. “I make you happy, huh?”

“Oh, shut up.” Was the other boy’s only reply, but he could see a light flush cover his cheeks. 

Mary smiled at them both before grabbing their hands and pulling them down the hall and into the kitchen. The sound of her heels hitting the hardwood floors echoing through the house. “I hope you boys are hungry, because I have been going through all of my cookbooks to find something special for dinner tonight.” She released theirs hands and went over to the double stoves, leaving Cas a little dazed at how fast he was relocated. “I’ll be making dinner for most of the day, but feel free to go play. Oh, Dean! You also should go find your father and Sam. I’m sure they’re dying to meet your boyfriend.” Cas’ heart skipped a beat as she said “boyfriend”. She said it so casually. Like it was completely normal. So he figured that he worried for nothing. She seemed to like him just fine and not care about the fact that they were more than friends. As small smile spread across his face. If only there were more people like Mary out there. His life would be a whole lot easier if there were. 

Dean sighed heavily next to him. “Yeah, okay, Mom. We’re just going to go upstairs. then.” 

“Keep the door open, young man!” Mary called after them as they left the kitchen.

“Yeah yeah.” Dean said dismissively. 

“I mean it, Dean!”

“Okay, Mom!” 

 

Dean’s room was upstairs to the left and the inside was just as Cas expected it to be. The walls were decorated with either band or movie posters, the floor was covered with discarded clothes, and the shelves held an impressive collection of CD's and DVD's. The bed was unmade and empty glasses and fast food bags lay on the nightstands. 

Dean rushed in and began removing the garbage. “Sorry. I didn’t really think about cleaning up before you came over. shit” Clothes were thrown into his closet and shoved under the bed to make the room seem less messy.

Cas giggled at the sight of the other boy trying to make the room presentable. Dean stopped t the sound of the noise and smiled at him. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just...I’m flattered that you care so much about my opinion.”

Dean smirked. “Well you’re the one that said that first impressions were important and this is the first time you've been to my house, so sew me, okay?” When just laughed again, Dean got up from his crouching position on the floor and made him way towards him. “You think that’s funny, Cas?” Cas knew that look. It seemed that the other boy was in one of those moods today. He backed up until he was near the doorway. Dean’s hand went behind him and closed it while maintaining eye contact with Cas. Dean moved closer until he was pressed against the door and he placed his hands on it, on both sides on Cas’ head; blocking him in. The boy’s warm breath ghosted against his face as he leaned in close. 

“Your mom said to keep the door open.” Dean smirked in response, causing Cas to roll his eyes. “You’re such a rebel.” Cas teased.

“You know it, baby.” Then his mouth was occupied with Cas’ as their bodies tangled against the wood of the door. Cas’ head hit the door with a soft thump as it was pushed back with the force of the kiss. Cas loved it when Dean got excited and forgot to be gentle with him. He gasped as Dean scratched his scalp with his fingernails, running his hands through it as Cas gripped the hair at the back of his neck. Suddenly, he was whirled around and maneuvered over to the bed in the center of the room. The kiss was broken when Cas pushed Dean onto the bed and then crawled into his lap, claiming his mouth once again. Moans filled the room as they both grew more urgent.

Nothing was going to break their focus. Nothing except for the sound of the door opening and a small voice calling out.

“Hey, Dean! When is your boyfriend coming over-OH nevermind! I guess he’s already here!” The boy yelled, who Cas assumes is Sam, from the doorway. Cas gasped and fell off the bed, hitting the ground with an “oomph.” A blush crept up his neck and to his face at being caught in Dean’s lap. Great way to meet his younger brother.

Dean, on the other hand, didn't seem all that bothered by it. “Sammy, this is Cas. Cas, Sammy.”


End file.
